“Any chance of getting a refund on the next three, boys?” bellowed a man in canary yellow shirt towards a group of England fans at the Gabba. They do love to stick it to the old country in this part of the world, albeit this exchange actually occurred early on day three of the second Test.
The worst, it transpired, was still to come. Pushed into an interrogation under lights by Mitchell Starc’s stone-cold 141-ball 77 from number nine, England collapsed under questioning – the kind of late session implosion that means the Ashes urn is unlikely to be changing hands this year.
Even the word “unlikely” is a nod to the fact that, in nearly 150 years of Test cricket, a 2-0 deficit has been overcome once before; that it still remains mathematically possible. The way the first five days of this series have played out – the way Starc has taken residence in English minds and painted the walls fuchsia pink – this is the stuff of fantasy.
As the two sides walked off, the equation said as much. Having conceded a first-innings deficit of 177 runs thanks to Starc’s first half-century at home for nine years, they crumbled from 90 for one to 134 for six from 35 overs. The tourists were still 43 runs away from simply making Australia bat again and Sunday will surely see that scoreline locked in.
RM Block
And to think England’s reply started well. For six overs before the second interval, the supposedly trickiest part of the day, Zak Crawley was sending the pink ball racing across the outfield like he was Ronnie O’Sullivan, while Ben Duckett was off a pair. Starc was wayward, Michael Neser grassed a tough return catch, and 45 runs were wiped off the deficit.
This was just the twitching of a corpse, however, one that was soon to be found lying flat on the table with its guts on display. It was triggered by Scott Boland exploiting some low bounce to bowl Duckett off the toe-end of the bat, then followed by Neser profiting from drives on the up by Ollie Pope, 26, and Crawley, 44, that both nestled in his hands.
The moment that got the Gabba truly rocking was the wicket of Joe Root and delivered by the man of the day. As the decibel levels rose, Starc thundered in and found the edge of a tired drive on 15 that, due to the noise, needed a review for confirmation. Off went Root, tumbling down the other side of the personal mountain he had climbed 48 hours earlier.
Of the top seven, only Ben Stokes could hold firm amid the maelstrom whipped up. Harry Brook’s outside edge was found by Boland on 15, the ball after seeing one overturned, before the surging Starc then repeated the dose to Jamie Smith. England’s captain will walk out alongside Will Jacks on the fourth day, while Australia will be eyeing a quick kill.
Already this series is shaping up to be remembered as Starc’s Ashes. Not content with simply hurting England with that lethal left-arm – 18 wickets at 13 runs apiece in only three and a half innings – he added a new form of torture here: 154 minutes of rock-solid batting. It helped stick 511 on the board and ensured the third innings began in twilight.
England had struck either side of the second new ball during the opening session. Neser edged Stokes behind on 16, while Alex Carey’s counter-attacking 63 was finally ended at the third attempt to present Gus Atkinson with his first wicket of the series. At this stage Australia were 418 for eight, with a lead of 84 runs that still needed further embellishment.
But runs and wickets are not the only currency in Test cricket. Forcing an opponent to toil is another way to break them down, with Starc and Boland repelling everything that Stokes could squeeze out of his weary bowlers in 30-degree heat. Remarkably, their ninth-wicket stand worth 75 runs was, at 27.3 overs, the longest so far in this hurtlingly quick series.
One wonders whether England’s lower order would have the wherewithal to deliver such a calculated performance were the roles to be reversed; or whether they would simply try to blast as many boundaries as possible before the inevitable. Starc struck 13 fours, Boland chiselled out three, but the dot balls amassed in between were what hurt the most.
Starc may have shielded Boland – the No 10 was still secure en route to a career-best 21 not out – but this was an innings built on collective responsibility. All 11 Australians made it to double figures, with five individual scores and six partnerships travelling north of 50 runs. Not for the first time on these shores, England could learn a thing or two.
Whether they are willing to is another matter, with the assistant coach Marcus Trescothick – the man in charge of the batters – signing off an acutely bleak day by reasserting his side’s commitment to their approach. As it is, those Australian jibes about seeking refunds feel likely to continue. – Guardian
