Rows in the squad, a manager who can't communicate, a shadow over the star player - who said Cameroon don't have their problems?
For Ireland's opponents in tomorrow's World Cup opener have had almost as many troubles as Roy and Mick over the past week. The "Indomitable Lions" of Africa left Paris four days late after a row in which the players claimed the management had been pocketing their share of the proceeds from recent friendlies.
Then they were stranded in Bombay for nine hours while waiting for permission to overfly Cambodia, Vietnam and the Philippines.
After four changes of manager in a year, they appointed a German, Winfried Schaefer, last September. But as the players speak French and English, and he speaks neither, Schaefer communicates through an interpreter.
Finally, Cameroon's most famous former player, Roger Milla, is under a cloud after accusations that he took bribes to support FIFA president Sepp Blatter's re-election bid. Blatter's main rival was a Cameroonian, so Milla, the hip-wriggling star of the 1990 World Cup, has become something of a hate figure to many Africans.
Not that all this will make any difference to the support the African champions will receive from the 400 or so Cameroonians living in Ireland.
"Two-nil - and if Ireland play well they might get a goal back," is a typically confident prediction from Joseph Atow, a young accounting student living in Dublin for the past three years.
Joseph expects Cameroon to attack from the start and score early. "I was always confident about our chances, but since Ireland's loss to Nigeria and the dispute over Roy Keane, I'm certain." He says he's disappointed with Keane's behaviour, but his compatriot, asylum-seeker Pascal Lacene, puts the blame on Mick McCarthy. "Keane is like the pilot in a plane; you can't fly without him. You can get good coaches at any time, but not good players."
Cameroon, definitely, 2-0," Pascal also predicts.
Both men are still searching for the perfect venue for watching the match. This might prove difficult for Pascal, as he doesn't want to watch with anyone who doesn't "analyse things the right way".
The view from Cameroon is equally bleak for Ireland. Father Anthony Murphy, a Mill Hill missionary based in Bamende in the north-west of the country, says Ireland are in for "a very tough time".
"Expectations are high, and people here expect Cameroon to go a long way in the tournament," says Father Murphy, one of about 100 Irish missionaries living in the country.
Cameroon is football-crazy, he says, even if most play the beautiful game in bare feet with ragballs. Few families have a television, but town-dwellers will be able to see Saturday's match in local bars and clubs.
"The people of Cameroon are warm-hearted, friendly and sociable; this is a wonderful place to live," he says. "You can be sure that, whatever happens, there will be celebrations."
For those who have been on another planet until now, Ireland versus Cameroon kicks off tomorrow at 7.30 a.m.
