There's a place near me which offers a "homoeopathy" service. "Hilarious," I thought and was tempted to call in but feared being misunderstood. So I considered contacting US vice president Mike Pence.

He has opposed gay rights, claimed being gay is a choice, opposed gay marriage and a law preventing discrimination against gay people in employment as it “wages war on freedom and religion in the workplace”.

He even supported conversion therapy for gay people, to. . . er. . . straight-en them out. Which is why I thought of him when I saw that word “homoeopathy” boldly blazoned at a place near me.

Maybe it offers a sort of conversion/aversion therapy to straight-en gay people, so to speak? Or the opposite? It might be a service to make straight people gay. My curiosity was piqued.

I would call in to see what is on offer but the place near me is across from a pub whose regulars I know. It would not be fair to provoke them into speculating whether I was a gay who wished to be straight or a straight who wished to be gay, which is why I thought of Mike Pence. Il Penceroso himself.

I expect he would be aware whether homoeopathy is a conversion therapy.

It has to be an alternative medicine, like homeopathy, which is based on the idea that “like, cures like” and teaches that if a substance causes a symptom in a healthy person, a small amount of it may cure a sufferer.

Same, curing same. And, the Greek word for same is . . . "homo". Hence "homosexual". Which is why Bart Simpson got it wrong when calling his father "Homersexual".

In general, and as with conversion therapy for gay people, there is little evidence that homeopathy is effective. But that doesn’t stop people.

So, is it possible that the homoeopathy service at a premises near me may be about helping to make gay people straight or straight people gay by applying a little of the opposite in either case? Will I ever know!

Well. I found out. To my surprise I discovered homoeopathy is actually the correct spelling for homeopathy.

Homoeopathy, from the Greek "homeois" (similar/ like) and "pathos" (suffering). In fact, omission of the dipthong (Œ) changes the root of the word to mean "same", not "similar".

One stands exposed, chastened, even humbled!

inaword@irishtimes.com