AGAINST THE ODDS:THE STRAINS of In the Name of Love carried on a warm, southerly breeze from Croke Park to the patio of a fine detached house on Mount Prospect Avenue, where Angie Fitzpatrick, as she insisted she now be called, was overseeing a fund-raising poker night.

Nearly five months pregnant at 41, there was no halting Angie’s gallop as she flitted gaily among her friends, topping up drinks, offering tasty canapés and giggling about the twins she was nursing inside her slightly bulging tummy.

Staying put was not an option for this energetic mum-to-be who could pass for a woman several years younger, unlike Vinny, her better (if that was the right word) half, who could have been mistaken for a granddad, rather than a grand dad.

“We haven’t thought about names, have we Vincent? Simply because we don’t know what the pelican’s going to deliver; could be two boys, two girls, or one of each, who knows?” cooed Angie.

Proud as punch as he was about the looming December arrivals, Vinny wasn’t into all this baby babble, while the fact that 11 women, of varying sizes, shapes and scents, were all cackling at once in his midst unnerved him. Yet he couldn’t let on.

This was Angie’s night and he had promised to look smart, and behave himself. “Right, Ange shall we get the cards under way?” he said with half-hearted cheer.

The gathering was made up mostly of Angie’s pals from the tennis and scrabble clubs, who had all chipped in €30 to go towards a halfway house in Kenya for young amputee victims.

There were two tables of six players each, and play would run for an hour, after which the top three from each table would progress to the final, which would run for another hour following a light supper. All players would begin with a stack of €750 worth of chips.

As players made their way inside to the drawing room, Angie produced a scrabble bag.

“Here’s how we’ll draw the two tables. I’ve assigned you all a tile in the bag. As we’ve two P’s, Pamela you’re a Q, and as we’ve two S’s, Sharon, you’re a H.

“I couldn’t find J for you, Jackie, so I gave you K instead.”

Vinny groaned inwardly. This was no way to do a draw. This was what high-powered business folk called deal fatigue, and it made his skin creep.

Soon, Vinny found himself sitting beside “Q” for Pamela, “H” for Sharon, “K” for Jackie, “S” for Sonia and “M” for Mary. “Right,” he said, looking at a captive audience, one of whom, “K” for Jackie, he noticed, was running her tongue lightly around her lips while staring directly at him.

Ignoring “K” for Jackie, he continued. “Here are the ground rules. It’s a pair of Jacks to open and a blue beats a house, beats a run. You can open for half the pot and there are no presents for a poker. All agreed? Right, first ace deals.”

The opening hands were largely uneventful. Vinny won a small pot with a wee bluff and then a bigger one with three kings, which prompted a reaction from “K” for Jackie. “You’re certainly king of this club, Vinny,” she said with a smile and a conspiratorial wink.

Feeling himself blush, Vinny coughed and gathered the cards to deal the next hand. It was a corker, a house of Jacks and fives. He opened for half the pot, was pleased that everyone played and then lobbed in 10 chips as a raise.

“Q” for Pamela had a look and “K” for Jackie, leaning over in a most revealing manner, touched Vinny lightly on the arm and purred: “I’ll see you,” before pausing to add “and I’ll raise you 25.”

Vinny didn’t flinch. He was in poker mode and it didn’t matter if he was surrounded by the vestal virgins or the Everton first 11. He covered the 25 and threw in a 50-chip piece. “Raise you, back,” he said impassively.

“Ooh, we’ve got a big one going here,” squealed “H” for Sharon.

There was a silence as “K” for Jackie fingered her chips in a clicking way which suggested to Vinny that she had played before. He recalled she had bought three cards. Had she gone out on a pair and somehow filled a poker? Hardly, he thought.

“You look like a real man when it comes to poker, Vinny. Let’s make it interesting, shall we? I’ll raise 100,” said “K” for Jackie.

Somewhere from deep inside an alarm bell began to ring in Vinny’s mind. He sensed that “K” for Jackie had played a bit. He resisted the temptation to counter raise and paid to see.

“K” for Jackie, tossed back her wavy dark hair and placed her cards calmly on the table. Five hearts, to the Queen. A blue.

Vinny reacted as he would if he were playing with the lads in Foley’s, with professional detachment. “Good enough for me,” he said, showing a pair of jacks. “Openers,” he added.

There was a yelp of dismay from “H” for Sharon. “But you must show us what you have,” she said. As Vinny shrugged his shoulders, “K” for Jackie piped in. “You have to pay to see darling and you didn’t. Vinny lost, I won. Nothing else matters. Isn’t that right, Vinny?” she said, her eyes shining.

“Yeah,” he said. “Right, let’s get playing, we’re running out of time.”

It was later, much later, and Vinny was nursing a draught can of stout and Angie was sipping a green tea on the patio. The night had been a success: €360 raised, not quite as much as U2 in Croker, and everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves.

Vinny had made the final six but a run of wretched cards and a bluff that backfired meant he finished third, behind “K” for Jackie.

“That was great fun,” said Angie, as she nestled into the crook of Vinny’s flabby arm. “The girls said they had a blast and were impressed at the way you organised things at the table. I knew you’d pull it off,” she said.

“Jackie was saying how she’d love to have the two of us around for supper one night. Funny, I used to date her husband, Jeff, years ago. He was very upset when it ended. If we go, I’ll bet he’ll chance his arm making advances at me,” she giggled.

Vinny said nothing. He was more worried about the advances “K” for Jackie might make at him.

“Er, more tea, love?” he said as he eased himself to his feet.

“There was a silence as ‘K’ for Jackie fingered her chips in a clicking way which suggested to Vinny that she had played before.

He recalled she

had bought three cards. Had she gone out on a pair and somehow filled a poker? Hardly, he thought.

Bets of the week

2 ptsLimerick to beat Meath in All-Ireland SFC qualifiers (21/10, Boylesports)

1 pt e-wRoyal County Star in Galway Plate (16/1, William Hill)

Vinny's Bismark

1 ptLay Donegal to beat Cork in All-Ireland SFC quarter-finals (11/4, liability 2.75pts, Paddy Power)