The new Ministers of State marched down the main staircase and fanned out in two lines on either side of the Taoiseach and Tánaiste.
Ready for their close-up.
All but one of the front-row dozen stood shoulder to shoulder, cupped hands hovering protectively over nether regions in the classic defensive wall formation.
The only junior minister who didn’t adopt the familiar football stance was Fianna Fáil’s Robert Troy, recalled to the ministerial bench after 2½ years in the sin bin for failing to declare property interests. Inured to the hard knocks, he kept his hands in his pockets
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Not that his colleagues were ever in any danger of getting peppered with zingers from free-kicking reporters, who knew that hurling questions would be a complete waste of time.
For this was a photocall and a photocall only, and the new junior Ministers were keeping their mouths shut no matter what.
Not a word out of any on them for the few minutes it took to snap images of all the men and handful of women admitted to the ongoing sausage-fest which passes for balanced representation at the top level of Irish politics.
“It wasn’t so long ago when they would do anything to get a mention,” remarked one bemused hack as the mute on-message Ministers kept their smiles firmly fastened and their lips buttoned.
In this happy gathering on the steps with Micheál Martin and Simon Harris, just five of the 22 politicians smiling for the cameras were women, but they were very visible in the front row, with one placed on either side of the Taoiseach and Tánaiste.
That fooled nobody.
All these freshly promoted minions are now record breakers, being part of the biggest ever group of junior Ministers elevated to very well remunerated government jobs.
Twenty-three in all with a whopping six women in the mix.
Missing from the stellar line-up of new juniors at Wednesday’s unveiling were three of the members of Michael Lowry’s Regional Group, whose support for the Government was squared off with plum positions.
Marian Harkin was at a family funeral but perhaps stepping into the official family photo was a step too far for Noel Grealish and Seán Canney, while their fellow RIGgers – also in bed with the Government – cheekily want to hop in beside the Opposition too when the mood takes them because they fancy the pants off their speaking time.
Best not to draw too much attention to their outrageous two-timing proposition.
No such qualms for Kevin “Boxer” Moran though. He’s delighted with his new job and it was thumbs up all round from him.
But the lack of women in the final line-up looks awful.
Gender off-balance at its best.
Labour’s Ged Nash went on radio to ask: ‘What has this Government got against women? It’s 2025, not 1955.’
The reaction outside of government was not good. Mary Lou McDonald was out of the traps immediately with that reliable old chestnut “jobs for the boys”.
Jen Cummins of the Social Democrats followed up by pointing to the Government’s “shameful record when it comes to giving women a seat at the top table”.
Labour’s Ged Nash went on radio to ask: “What has this Government got against women? It’s 2025, not 1955.”
And as soon as the appointments were announced, he lashed out a press release lambasting Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael for spending millions to butter up their own TDs and favoured Independents with new perks and positions.
“The boom-time baby-Minister bonanza is back and it would make even Bertie Ahern blush,” he thundered, pointing out that the Taoiseach, Tánaiste and Government Stroke Whisperer Michael Lowry “have absolutely smashed the pre-crash record of 20 Ministers of State. By the time the committee chair gigs are doled out, we will have in excess of 50 TDs with Government-sponsored jobs”.
Speaking of press releases, the Government Buildings photocall and announcement of new ministers was scheduled for 3.45pm.
The Healy-Rae machine whirred into action at 3.38pm with a statement.
“Deputy Michael Healy-Rae TD has described taking up the role of Minister of State at the Department of Agriculture, Food and the Marine with special responsibility for forestry, horticulture and farm safety as a ‘proud moment in which he is honoured, humbled and ready to serve the farming community’.
“The Kerry poll topper has become just the 12th ever Kerry TD to attain the position of a Minister of State (previously parliamentary secretary) and the first ever Independent to do so.”
The Government will probably throw a few more trinkets at the ladies in the form of committee chairs. These jobs carrying an extra few bob. It’ll be a nice bit of pin money for them
Among the other appointees is Fianna Fáil’s Michael Moynihan of Cork North-West, who suffered no ill-will from boss Micheál despite throwing his toys out of the pram when he didn’t get the nod last time out.
Overnight sensation Michael has been a TD for 27 years.
Meanwhile, the two main parties got busy laying the blame for the glaring dearth of women Ministers at the electorate’s feet.
Sure didn’t they field record numbers of women in the election? Don’t blame them if the people voted overwhelmingly for men.
What they don’t want to admit is that they stood to lose out on a significant slice of State funding if they failed to meet candidate gender quotas. So they tacked inexperienced make-weight women on to tickets to join already established male candidates.
They had little chance of making it because they weren’t promoted and properly supported.
Never mind. The Government will probably throw a few more trinkets at the ladies in the form of committee chairs. These jobs carrying an extra few bob. It’ll be a nice bit of pin money for them.
When the photocall of the anointed was over, the silent Ministers scuttled back inside.
RTÉ’s Mary Regan was in the courtyard, on the phone to a Government official. “Could you even send one of the junior Ministers out to talk to us?”
Nobody arrived. They were all inside having more photographs taken.
Even Michael Healy-Rae wasn’t biting. He said he would comment tomorrow.
“I’ll give you a picture though,” he shouted, hanging back until the others had retreated and he had imposing entrance to Government Buildings as his backdrop.
Then he turned to face the cameras and punched the air, silhouetted in the between the double doors and stone columns.
One for the Kerryman newspaper.
Job done.
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