It was a tough night for Santa Claus.
Because one of the boys and girl is due to get an early Christmas present in a few days’ time, but who will it be? He tuned into Tuesday’s big debate to find out who’s naughty and who’s nice.
Ninety minutes later, he was none the wiser. It looks like the electorate will have to deliver a surprise.
There were high hopes for the only televised contest between the three party leaders vying to become Taoiseach. With two business days left until polling begins, their encounter was billed as the confrontation which could crucially alter the course of the campaign.
It had the potential to be the “most consequential” debate in Irish election history.
With hindsight, it was oversold.
On the way into RTÉ, Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald signalled she was up for the fray. She may have launched her party’s manifesto at the very last minute but she had wanted to get stuck into her opponents earlier and more often.
“In the last general election campaign we had, I think, five debates. My only regret is that this is the only three-way head to head” she said.
By the end of the night that seemed like a merciful relief.
The first act of this make or break or not amount to much showdown was the traditional drawing of lots for lectern positions. Miriam O’Callaghan and Sarah McInerney hovered over RTÉ’s goldfish bowl of destiny in a tension-filled few seconds and pulled three bits of paper from its mysterious depths.
The contenders would line out with Opposition leader Mary Lou in the middle, Tánaiste and Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin to her right and Taoiseach and Fine Gael leader Simon Harris to her left.
All three are such big beasts it required two presenters to control them, and Miriam and Sarah had to sit behind a very sturdy desk in case any of the leaders broke free and went on the rampage.
Last week, Katie Hannon had to wrangle 10 leaders, including the aforementioned barbarians, while standing, defenceless, in the middle of the pack.
The debate opened with a montage of the prospective taoisigh out on the election trail, behaving like leaders and showcasing their skills which are the very essence of statecraft. There they were, waving their hands and silly hats and hurleys, bothering babies and small dogs, laughing uproariously all the time, jiving like mad things and riding buffaloes.
So the gravitas was off the scale by the time they reached the television studio, standing behind lecterns which were a little too close together because of the size of the presenters’ security table.
Zeroing in immediately on the most urgent issue of the day – they were in Montrose so it had to be RTÉ – O’Callaghan opened with the controversy over whether or not a member of the Taoiseach’s team asked the national broadcaster to take down the video clip of Simon Harris and his run-in with a carer in Kanturk.
She pressed the Taoiseach for an answer.
“And just to clarify, so as far as you’re aware, it was never requested that the clip be taken down?”
“I have no knowledge of that whatsoever because this clip was entirely appropriate” replied Harris.
But, but ... and just to clarify, viewers must have wondered while watching this transmission from the heart of RTÉ if RTÉ was aware of any such request made to RTÉ. And why nobody told Miriam the answer and saved her the bother of grilling the Taoiseach on it.
Micheál Martin didn’t want to get involved because he didn’t know all the details so he spoke in riddles instead.
“I’m not sure if this is normal, usual. I just get on with it every day.”
Mary Lou McDonald already decided what happened. “Politicians shouldn’t try to influence editorial decisions or to try and have clips taken down.”
Simon Harris turned towards her immediately, but said nothing.
Micheál also appeared about to say something, but he thought the better of it.
Both on their best behaviour, anxious not to draw any accusations that they were “ganging up” on the only woman in the debate. They tried to compensate with scandalised looks when the Sinn Féin leader outlined her party’s policies.
During lively exchanges on climate change, Mary Lou protested “I’m getting it from both sides!” That’s because she was in the middle.
There may have been three participants, but the Taoiseach was the one everybody wanted to see.
Three weeks ago, when he fired the starting gun, Simon Harris was a hugely popular new leader and Fine Gael looked set to return to government as the senior partner. But this is politics with a capital P for pear-shaped, and the Taoiseach is enduring a nightmare week after a series of gaffes.
His figures have dropped in the polls. The parties are now neck and neck. His popularity – Fine Gael’s USP in this election – has taken a battering.
He needed to come through the debate without any mishaps.
He needed to steady the ship and his nerves and emerge unscathed from a new energy to a new empathy.
He needed a shot at redemption.
The other two just needed to get themselves noticed.
It was difficult for all three. This time they were not trying to hold their own in a very crowded field. Instead, they were up against a very crowded list of topics and questions with presenters under orders to plough through them before the 90 minutes were up.
The cost of living. The economy. Housing. Health. Crime. Government formation. And the opening issue of ‘Carers and Disability’ – showing that something good had come from the Taoiseach’s testy exchange with carer Charlotte Fallon in Kanturk.
It’s usually a category discussed for a worthy few minutes after the meatier political fare is out of the way.
The first half of the debate almost turned into the Micheál and Mary Lou show as an unusually subdued Taoiseach recovered from the unexpected onslaught of the last week and the opening onslaught on RTÉ and Kanturk. He rallied well in the second half.
All three performed to type.
Simon “I became Taoiseach only seven months ago” Harris with his new broom, fresh ideas approach to maintaining stability.
Mary Lou “You couldn’t make this up” McDonald with her time for a change from “the lads” who crashed the economy and introduced the austerity.
Micheál “I’m not getting into silly stuff now” Martin standing on his wealth of experience and presenting himself as the only grown-up in the room.
There was no knock out blow.
“Clear winners of the evening already – Miriam and Sarah’s stylists” remarked a colleague after the opening credits. The presenters looked great – O’Callaghan in a pink trouser suit and McInerney in a red trouser suit.
How did they do?
Ah, grand. They did grand.
But it was dull enough fare.
Some things stood out.
It was 30 minutes into the debate before the bike shed was mentioned.
Micheál’s expression when Mary Lou called him Martin.
Simon and Mary Lou failing miserably not to smirk whenever one of them had to mention Fianna Fáil crashing the economy.
Micheál referring to himself in the third person. Simon talking about all the people who come up to him and say “Simon ...”
Mary Lou, wrecking the buzz of people bingo drinking by making them wait almost until the very end before referring to Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil as “Tweedledee and Tweedledum.” Cheers!
The Taoiseach’s reaction to it. “C’mon now, you can do better than this. You’ve had five years to come up with a new line.”
And his line for the ages: “I’m going to get people’s children back from Australia.”
The Taoiseach pointed out that two of the three parts of the national children’s hospital are already open in Tallaght and Blanchardstown. That makes the hospital about 15 miles long. No wonder it’s so expensive.
Mary Lou McDonald’s talk-to-the-hand routine with her two male counterparts – straight up in front of them like a traffic cop when she wanted to keep talking. Imagine if one of them had done that?
Micheál leading with the chin declaring: “I was in government in the crash.” And Mary Lou straight in with the jab “I know you were, sure you were the author of it”. He won ground back by saying she didn’t have to tell him that but “I’ve learned from it”.
In football parlance, the debate was a no-score draw. In boxing, Micheál Martin narrowly shaded it, but with a unanimous decision.
All three performed well.
Mary Lou McDonald had a decent 90 minutes but was put on the back foot by the other two on a number of occasions. She was strongest on health and the cost of living with strong points and persuasive words masking a lack of specifics. She underperformed on housing, in particular, still unable to confirm if the banks will give mortgages to homebuyers under Sinn Féin’s housing plan. She also fell back too often on her dismissive, talk-to-the-hand Dáil routine.
Micheál Martin was the most assured and composed of the bunch, his long experience of these occasions standing to him. He may not have landed any big punches but he played the statesman card well, sounding confident and authoritative when saying nothing memorable. Some of his more long-winded replies also gave people a chance to nip out and put the kettle on.
Simon Harris had the most to lose, his authority as Taoiseach clearly eroded by recent events. But he had a good outing, steadying the ship and himself as his confidence gradually returned. He was well briefed and, like the Tánaiste, good on detail. He also delivered a few cracking one-liners. He could have been more assertive, but after a torrid few days the Taoiseach of seven months will be satisfied to have come through this latest baptism of fire.
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