Once married to American Pie singer Don McLean, Patrisha McLean tells The Irish Times Women’s Podcast that she was the victim of coercive control at the hands of the star, saying, “For 29 years I was controlled”.
Speaking to podcast presenter Róisín Ingle, McLean says the marriage was “like being in a cult”: “I didn’t have any freedom to act, to speak or to think”.
The 60-year-old who shares two grown up children with McLean, says her former husband even took control of what she wore during their time together. “I couldn’t wear colours. He didn’t like colours”.
“I was just brainwashed. It was miserable. It was scary”.
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Their decades-long marriage came to an end after her ex-husband was arrested at their American home in 2016 on suspicion of domestic violence.
The Vincent singer-songwriter later pleaded guilty to several charges, including one of domestic assault although he has denied ever assaulting his former wife, saying his guilty plea was meant to protect their family’s privacy.
Now an anti-domestic violence activist, the mother runs Finding Our Voices, an organisation based in her home town of Camden, Maine that empowers survivors of domestic abuse to share their stories.
Describing it as a “grassroots sisterhood”, McLean says in the five years since it launched, Finding our Voices has donated more than $400,000 [346,000 euro] to help women leave abusive homes and has put together a team of 38 dentists giving “free, dignified dental care”.
The non-profit also offers “online support groups, healing retreats” and an online book club where authors join McLean to talk about themes of domestic abuse in their books.
Over the next couple of weeks the book club will be hosting a series of online talks with Irish authors, starting with Roddy Doyle on November 18th 2025. The pair will be discussing Doyle’s 1996 novel, The Woman Who Walked Into Doors. In this wide-ranging conversation McLean also talked about her friendship with fellow Maine resident actor Gabriel Byrne who has helped fundraise and support her activism.
Other writers taking part in the series include Róisín O’Donnell, Betsy Cornwall and Jacqueline Connolly.
For more see findingourvoices.net.
You can listen back to this conversation in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
