Stuck for a last-minute Halloween costume? Never fear, Auntie Emer is here with rock-solid topical ideas that will blow everyone in the cul de sac away. Topical costumes are a special interest of mine, potentially as a result of growing up witnessing provincial St Patrick’s Day parades which are, of course, the spiritual home of the newsworthy float. I have precious childhood memories of “Bishop Eamonn Casey” waving down from the back of a flatbed truck, or “Liam Lawlor” acting as grand marshal.
Bringing the topical vibe to Halloween this year couldn’t be easier. The presidential election has provided a rich seam of costume ideas. The most obvious is Maria Steen’s blue Hermès handbag. A giant cardboard box painted blue or, at a push, a 70-litre blue bin bag with a crudely painted Hermès logo will do the trick. If you can be followed around by a dapper man with glasses and chic little moustache (aka Mr Steen), even better.
Alternatively, you can pair the handbag with the year’s most vital accessory, a Labubu doll. Keep things edgy by opting to dress as its counterfeit counterpart (as sold in every phone/vape shop across the land), a Lafufu. They’ll be splitting their sides on the trick-or-treat beat. You’ll be raking in the mini bags of Haribo and off-brand Skips.
Sticking with the election theme leads us to incoming president Catherine Connolly and the keepy-uppies. I’m envisaging a ball attached to a length of one-inch-diameter piping with a bit of bend and give to it. A wig and a no-nonsense trouser suit will have you keepy-uppying till the cows come home. A less obvious nod to our new president would be donning a black tracksuit and some eyeliner whiskers to dress up as one of Connolly’s black cats, charmingly named “Cat One” and “Cat Two”. They’ll be rolling on the doorsteps. You’ll be coming down with Miniature Heroes.
Need a topical Halloween costume? How about Maria Steen’s Hermès handbag, Sexy Louvre Robber or K-Pop House Hunter?
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On the international front a Trump costume would be disappointingly obvious. What about rolling up some paper and sticking it to yourself along with a liberal dusting of baby powder? Bam, you’re the recently demolished east wing of the White House. Keeping it stateside, a pair of bootcut jeans is all you need to recreate Kendrick Lamar’s costume from this year’s Super Bowl halftime show.
The new Pope Leo is another obvious 2025 choice, but what about adding a classic (and inappropriate) Halloween twist by crafting a sexy Pope Leo costume? To quote the 2004 film Mean Girls, “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it”. The possibilities are endless. Sexy MetroLink. Sexy Storm Éowyn, Sexy Dáil Speaking Rights Row.
The bandits behind the Louvre heist is another topical option for 2025 but can be jazzed up by adding a cardboard sun on a mop handle, to really hammer home the audaciousness of the daytime crime. Or, hear me out, Sexy Louvre Robbers.
We’ve lost some greats this year. Diane Keaton had enough iconic film roles to inspire a dozen costumes. I personally would go with a longline puffer jacket and a jar of baby apple sauce in homage to Baby Boom, but really a starched white shirt collar and a high-waisted pant and you’re away. Extra points for a bob wig.
If you want to mourn some dearly departeds closer to home the 46A bus is an excellent choice and easily achievable with a cardboard box and some green and yellow paint. To go down the cheeky bus costume route you could choose your most infuriating route and write it on a piece of card and then attach it to a classic ghost costume – a sheet with two eye holes. Voila! You’re the ghost of the bus that never shows up. Wear some lingerie under the sheet and you’re Sexy Ghost Bus. You can’t beat a literally and figuratively layered costume.
Of course there will be lots of K-Pop Demon Hunters out and about this Halloween night. You can be topical and on trend with a “K Pop House Hunter” costume. Your party piece on the doorsteps will involve trying to find a three-bedroom house to buy in your area for less than €500,000. They’ll be handing over full six packs of Tayto. The children’s’ eyes may be rolling but you’ll be the hero of the neighbourhood Whatsapp.
And look, if desperation really kicks in you can always scour Penneys for one of their Traitors cloak dressing gowns and go as Paudie from Ireland’s first ever season. Is Sexy Paudie a step too far?
