Viewers of an Irish persuasion would have aged in or around a decade in the course of the game, but it worked out grand in the end, Wales were conquered. And you had a sense that it might turn in to a stellar Saturday on the rugby front when Jeremy Guscott put a large dollop of temptation in fate’s way on being asked by John Inverdale for his Scotland v England prediction.
“It’ll be a massive turnaround if Finn Russell finds his form,” he said, “but I think he’s probably going to get worse. I see England winning by 10 to 15 points this afternoon.”
And then Scotland triumphed by 12 points and Russell collected the man of the match award, Jeremy sent homeward tae think again.
A good day, then, although back on TV3 the lads had to hush Joe Molloy when he began talking about the possibility of Ireland beating Scotland and picking up a bonus point, thereby ensuring that they’d go to Twickenham with one hand and four fingers on the Championship. As Matt Williams had said to him earlier: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” And Ireland will have to eat Finn Russell if he brings his massive turnaround form to Dublin before they even start thinking about their trip to London.
Edward’s army
“Fair play to Russell,” said Paul O’Connell, “when you think of what has been said about him.” Jeremy, sitting beside him, said nothing. A bit like proud Edward’s army, he had no defence.
Inverdale – who, when the two teams took to the field, told us that “this is a big moment for all the Scottish players”, like they were blessed to be sharing the same pitch as England – tried to offer a defence. While conceding that Nigel Owens had actually got all the big decisions right, he felt he had been a bit mean to England by not overlooking knock-ons and the like in the course of them scoring two disallowed tries. POC gently inserted him back in his box, pointing out that when the ref applies the rules of the game, he is, you know, doing his job.
So, Finn Russell was the man of the day. But he had a few rivals for our Person of the Week award.
Donncha O’Callaghan: He appeared on TV3’s The Restaurant and while there were too many highlights to mention, none quite matched that time he recreated the pottery scene from Ghost, when Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze canoodled over wet clay while Unchained Melody filed the air, by lovingly embracing from behind the chef who was making the rugby-ball-shaped mash that was accompanying his lamb shank dish.
His duck dish was initially covered in oats because, he told us, he was once followed in to the management room at an Ireland training camp by 12 ducks after he’d fed them porridge oats at the team hotel. The dish was so disgusting he was forced to lose the oats. One of the judges, meanwhile, guessed he was Marty Morrissey, Marco Pierre White thought his fried egg starter was “very one dimensional”, but Donncha still picked up three stars. Legend.
Spineless
Gary Neville: His incandescent rage over Arsenal’s display in the League Cup final was epically marvellous, especially his fury over Granit Xhaka and Aaron Ramsey “WALKING!” on the Wembley pitch, instead of urgently running about the place.
“An absolute disgrace.”
“Absolutely spineless.”
“Absolutely pathetic.”
“I don’t even want to talk about them.”
And when the camera zoomed in on a crying boy bedecked in Arsenal colours: “LOOK AT THAT! THAT’S WHAT YOU CAUSED!” Never change, GNev.
George Hamilton: When he was told by RTE that he would be commentating on the Winter Olympics closing ceremony, you can only imagine that he checked his pension pot and considered early retirement. “This is going to another place altogether,” he said when Korea’s CL began rapping ‘Where my bad girls at?’ And then George fell silent. You sensed his will to carry on broadcasting had been lost.
Claire Molloy: The winner. “She came off a week of nights on Tuesday working in A&E, missed training,” Daire O’Brien told us after the Wales-based doctor picked up the player of the match award following Ireland’s 35-12 win over Wales in which she scored two tries.
From sleep deprivation to that. A massive turnaround.
