TV View:We set the video for The Championship yesterday, the plan being to offer a thorough analysis of ITV's take on Sunderland's unstoppable march towards glory. In the home dug-out was the Red Mystic Ranger who, the commentator told us, has "embarked on a magical adventure, befriended mystical dragons, battled dangerous beasts and encountered pure evil".
Cripes. Fair enough, Roy's been doing tremendously well at Sunderland, but we thought this was a bit over the top. Indeed, it made us fret even more about news that the BBC has lost a whole heap of football to ITV.
It was only then that we realised something had gone horribly wrong with our recording, instead of ending up with The Championship we got Toonattik, featuring Power Rangers Mystic Force and Oban Star Racers. So it was time for Plan B.
He has "embarked on a magical adventure, befriended mystical dragons, battled dangerous beasts and encountered pure evil", Jim Rosenthal pretty much said of Amir Khan's professional career to date, the 12th of his fights live and exclusive from Cardiff on Saturday night.
We don't want to appear sceptical, but, any time we've seen Amir fight, his opponents have been as fearsome as Dot from Eastenders. We trusted, then, Saturday would be better.
To give Jim his due, he did look a little red in the cheeks when he introduced us to the latest dangerous beast who would take on Amir: a 30-year-old called Steffy "Supersonic" Bull, an assistant special-needs teacher from Doncaster who actually retired from boxing last month.
"In fact," said Jim, hiding behind his microphone, "Steffy was going to go to the fight as a supporter, but then he got the call five weeks ago."
We also learnt that Steffy's real name is Andrew Bullcroft, but his manager, John Rushton, changed it for "dramatic effect". Either Rushton has a wicked sense of humour - perhaps it was a toss-up between Steffy and Shirley - or he actually wanted his boy to get beaten up. Which he was on Saturday night.
Not, mercifully, too badly, though, but Dot would have taken him with her opening jab. But commentators John Rawling and Duke McKenzie couldn't praise Steffy enough for his efforts, lasting the three rounds. Amir, who won his last fight in 55 seconds, looked exhausted when he spoke to ITV.
"It was a good fight," he said, "and I take away some experience - I've been in the ring for three rounds!" Count 'em.
As it turned out, the main event - Joe Calzaghe v Peter Manfredo Jr - lasted just the three rounds as well, with Barry McGuigan a touch incensed the referee stopped it so early. Yes, he conceded, the American had barely thrown a punch, "was completely out of his league", was wrapped around the ropes and would most certainly have been decked, but still the ref stepped in too quickly.
Manfredo thought so too. He had, after all, said before the fight: "See LaMotta in Raging Bull and it's me." Jake is consulting his lawyers as we speak.
Sporting a nose that looked like it had been run over by a truck, he insisted that Calzaghe didn't have "much power" - "I've been hit by bigger punchers" (we believe you, Peter) - and he should have been allowed cling to the ropes for a while longer.
What about the future for Manfredo? "You can't be great overnight," he said, "it takes time."
What about the future for Manfredo? "We'll see," said his trainer, the one and very only Sugar Ray Leonard. Alas, we've a bad feeling we won't see much more of Manfredo. Or of Steffy, for that matter. Unless they fight each other.
As it proved, the most lively contest of the evening was that between the 35,000 Welsh men in the audience and the speakers that blasted out the American national anthem. In the end it was a technical knock-out for the Welsh, their boos flooring the Star-Spangled Banner, much to Manfredo's bewilderment. There was he thinking they were allies.
We've been keeping an eye on the cricket World Cup, which seemed to start eight years ago, but, Ireland's heroics apart, we began to lose interest when Bermuda and their 20-stone bowler Dwayne Leverock went home. "Leverock is fielding at first slip. Second slip. And third," as Sky commentator David Lloyd put it, our personal highlight of the tournament so far.
Mind you, Paul Merson gave Lloydie a run for his money on Saturday. "You've played here Paul, what is it about the place that makes life so difficult for the big boys," asked Richard Keyes, after Portsmouth beat Manchester United at Fratton Park.
"It's a dump," said Paul, "but I don't mean that in an 'orrible way."