The fan's guide to getting in on the act

How to spot if a work colleague is a race fan

The typical race fan is generally recognised for the apparent gibberish uttered at the water cooler first thing. References to "VMG" (Velocity Made Good), "latest GRIB data" and (weather information) are clear clues that the colleague has started the day by logging on to the race website to view boats' progress via satellite. Extreme cases are quite common as the data is updated every three hours and can be replayed through 3D viewing software that recreates the race.

How to taste life on board a race entry

Simple really. Just pop down to your local supermarket and bulk purchase the following items to sample the staple diet of the crews: seven x packets of any dehydrated food you desire; x three per day for each main meal. Tabasco sauce is recommended.

Add vitamin supplements for a healthy, balanced diet and allow yourself a treat such as mini-snack bars for when conditions get really bad (see below)

How to recreate the conditions on board

Move your least comfortable bed to any heavy engineering factory floor. Attempt to sleep during peak shifts. Have someone wake you every three or four hours to help shift equipment around while constantly on the receiving end of a powerful fire hose. Return to your bunk exhausted to find same fire hose has also doused your bed. Rise three hours later for some tasty food (see above).

How to spot the risks

This is an acquired skill, born out of necessity and honed the hard way. If you're a sailor competing in this race, it's a safe bet you've been through this mill that leaves little space for prima donnas or delicate types. The simplest rule for spotting the risks falls under Sod's Law and explains the professional sailor's grim outlook. In short, you start your risk management from the principle of: "Anything that has a probability of happening greater than 0 can and will happen. No exceptions."

How to understand the gibberish

Ideally, you'd sit in on a risk management session with a bunch of pro sailors but these are fairly closed affairs. In truth, acquiring an understanding takes place in an osmosis-like process over many seasons. In times past, this could be short-cutted by listening-in on after-work "debriefing sessions" in a favoured hostelry with a crash-course in yachtie language delivered immeasurably quicker depending on the flow of rum and Coke. But that was then and pro sailors are a more athletic lot . . .

How to experience the race celebrations

With crowds of visitors to the race start at Alicante already past the 500,000 mark last week after just two weeks, the organisation has been widely hailed as a success. Compared to the America's Cup in nearby Valencia where public visitors could visit a few team clothing shops and possibly spot boats from afar, the Alicante Race Village is a far more open affair, with activities, shows and immediate access to the race crews and star sailors coming to and from a single dock. Ireland gets its own taste of the race when the transatlantic leg finishes in Galway on May 23rd next. For details, visit: www.letsdoitgalway.com

How to try it for yourself

We back to the acquired test thing again. Let's face it, getting wet and being uncomfortable for days on end isn't everyone's idea of fun - or even sport. But the rewards are indeed worthwhile, so if you're the type that likes to mix rough and smooth then trying it out is the first step. A basic sailing course at any of the 50 ISA accredited-course around Ireland is a good start. If the bug bites, then try a crew-course which inevitably leads to a place on a club racing boat as there is a significant shortage of regular, committed crew at present. With some experience, a world of racing or cruising opens up. As for the Volvo Ocean Race, well, see the foregoing.