QUOTE
“I think this is the biggest ... not robbery, I won’t say that, but the greatest moral harm to a human being.”
How well did Mounir Nasraoui take his son Lamine Yamal losing out to Ousmane Dembélé in the Ballon d’Or? Eh...
NUMBER: 52
The percentage of league games lost by Manchester United since Ruben Amorim took over, just 27 per cent of the 33 won. More gory, gory, than glory, glory.
Tough talking
The Berks and Bucks County Football Association no doubt meant well when they issued their “inclusive language guide” last week. “We are committed to ensuring football is a game for all,” they said on its release. “We want players, referees, coaches, parents, and volunteers to feel welcome, valued, and respected – no matter their background or identity. By using respectful, inclusive language, we can make sure football continues to be a space where everyone feels safe, supported, and able to thrive.”
RM Block
Included in the guide was a list of terms that should not be used and a list of the preferred alternatives. So, “do not say ‘come on lads’, do say ‘come on team’. Do not say ‘that’s insane’, do say ‘that’s surprising’. Do not say ‘too old to play’, do say ‘we value experience across the team’. Do not say ‘why aren’t you eating?’, do say, ‘is there anything we can do to support your fasting?’ Do not say ‘she’s good, for a girl’, do say ‘she’s a great player’.” And so on.
The gist of the reaction when The Telegraph tweeted the list? As a man called Gaz put it, ‘what’s the inclusive language for ‘go get ****ed you raging imbeciles’?” It went down well, then.
WORD OF MOUTH
“Winning at Benfica is beautiful. Playing at Benfica is ****ing tough. Losing at Benfica is ****ing tough. Winning at Benfica is ****ing beautiful. We’ve talked a lot, now we’re going out there and we’re going to kill them.”
José Mourinho’s team talk ahead of his first game in charge of Benfica. It worked too, they slayed AVS 3-0.
“If I stayed home until the end of the season, I’d earn more than I would working at Benfica.”
José again, this time denying his Benfica salary is €15 million, instead having to make do with one around the €4 million mark.
“Manchester United have put all their ducks in that basket.”
Charlie Austin, on Sky Sports News, suggesting that United have failed to get all their eggs in a row.
“That was definitely a penalty – his arm was away from his hand.”
Stuart Pearce on TalkSport spotting an anatomical mystery.
Dire directions
The most mortified player of the week? According to The Guardian, that would have to be poor old Lewis White of non-league Spalding. He set off from his Leicestershire home for Spalding’s Southern Football League Premier fixture but was a touch surprised to find Bury FC’s Gigg Lane empty when he arrived.
The problem? Spalding weren’t playing Bury FC in Greater Manchester, their opponents were Bury Town in Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk – almost a four-hour drive away. So, White hightailed it back down the motorway and somehow managed to make it for the last two minutes of the game. He came on and helped his side hold out of for a 2-1 win, despite being down to 10 men.
“I asked the people at Bury if it had ever happened before and they said it hadn’t,” said manager Jimmy Dean. “He must have been in a world of his own.” Imagine his petrol bill, though.
(Another) Trump tantrum
Perhaps lost a little in the fuss last week around the Trump man making unsubstantiated claims about a link between Tylenol and autism was his (considerably less important) threat to take away World Cup hosting rights from “dangerous” American cities, chiefly ones with a Democratic leaning, like Los Angeles, Seattle and San Francisco. “They’re run by radical left lunatics who don’t know what they’re doing,” he said.
The difficulty for Trump here is that he doesn’t actually have the authority to relocate World Cup games, but so chummy is Fifa president Gianni Infantino with him, you wouldn’t rule anything out.
How worried is Sydney Kamlager-Dove, a Democratic member of the House of Representatives from Los Angeles? “It’s so laughable, it’d make you want to take a Tylenol,” she said. Not too much.
