Mathematics devotees often suggest that the Teichmüller Space is one of the subject’s more difficult theories to explain. They should try figuring out the Nations League.
Teichmüller is, of course, the space that parametrises complex structures up to the action of homeomorphisms that are isotopic to the identity homeomorphism. The Nations League? Way more complicated. But it appears to be something like League A +/- League B ÷/x League C x/+ League D -/x League A/B/C, with the winners parametrising in the final.
If you’re flummoxed, you’re not alone. “I don’t even know what the game is this week,” said Damien Duff of Ireland’s two-leg meeting with Bulgaria. “God’s honest truth. I’m not sure what it means. It’s a playoff? I don’t know.”
So then, we’ll have a go at cracking the code.
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What is the Nations League anyway?
Well, it’s been around since 2018, Uefa’s general notion being that a string of league-based competitive games would be preferable to friendlies. So, using the rankings, they divided their 55 nations into four leagues, each containing four groups, and let them at it. A couple of carrots were thrown in to the mix – the best-placed teams in the Nations League who miss out on qualification for either the European Championships or World Cup get another chance of qualifying through the playoffs for those tournaments.
Explain?
No. It’d give you a migraine. And anyway, Ireland were far from ‘best-placed’ in the latest group phase of the competition, so no carrot for us.
What’s our Nations League record?
Look away now. They’ve finished third in their League B group on all four occasions, winning just four of their 22 matches.
So, what’s the deal with us playing Bulgaria on Thursday and Sunday?
Well, this time around a third-place League B group finish sent you in to a promotion/relegation playoff with a League C runner-up – and Bulgaria came out of the hat in the draw. They finished second to Northern Ireland in their group, while we were a distant third behind England and Greece. Bottom nation Finland, who we beat home and away, were automatically relegated to League C.
If we lose to Bulgaria over the two legs, they take our League B place, then?
Exactly. And we would drop down to League C for the first time, where we’d be mixing it with the likes of San Marino, the Faroe Islands and Moldova (no offence) in the 2026-27 competition, which starts in the autumn of next year.
Would that be the end of the world?
The FAI might feel that way – filling the Aviva Stadium for the visits of San Marino, the Faroe Islands and Moldova (no offence) wouldn’t be the easiest of tasks. It would, certainly, give Heimir Hallgrímsson a chance to rebuild his team in less testing circumstances, but he insists it’s vital to stay in League B and compete with better quality opposition.
Are Bulgaria any good?
Let’s just say, they could do with Hristo Stoichkov coming out of retirement. The low point of their group campaign was a 5-0 throttling by Northern Ireland in Belfast last October, and since then manager Ilian Iliev – their sixth gaffer in the last six years! – has threatened to quit due to local clubs questioning his impartiality due to him also being manager of top flight side Cherno More. They’re currently 22 places below Ireland in the world rankings, at 82, some drop from the heady days of 1994 when they reached the World Cup semi-finals. But, they drew their last two meetings with Ireland in the 2020-21 Nations League – and we’re in no shape to chuckle at any other nation’s woes.
What’s this about Portugal and Denmark’s Nations League quarter-final having a bearing on us?
The winners of that two-leg affair will not only book their slot in the semi-finals of the competition, they’ll have the honour of being in our World Cup qualifying group, which kicks off in September, along with Hungary and Armenia. The losers go in to a group with Greece, Scotland and Belarus.
Anything else?
Yes – if you want to impress your friends, tell them that only one member of the 27-strong Bulgarian squad, Fabian Nürnberger, has a surname that doesn’t end in ‘v’. They’ll be so impressed, it’ll be as if you explained the Teichmüller Space to them. And the Nations League.
