Planet Football

Other stories about soccer

Other stories about soccer

Harty joins Irish greats

We were taken by the preview of last Wednesday's Euro 2008 qualifying game that appeared in a Czech paper on the day. An impressive colour graphic showed photos of three "Irish Legends" of football: John Giles, Liam Brady and . . . Ian Harte.

Quotes of the week

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Reporter: "The (Prague) pitch looks good?"

- Lee Carsley: " Yeah, no bobbles . . . but I'll find one." The Everton man boasts about his first touch.

"It's coming along nicely."

- Steve Staunton after the Czech game. What can we say?

" Would you let him drive the train to Cork?"

- Eamon Dunphy, looking for an alternative career for Staunton, leaves Bill O'Herlihy lost for words.

" I don't know if he (Stephen Ireland) is in the right mind to play - and I don't know if I am in the right mind."

- Sven Goran Eriksson, befuddled by Grannygate.

"It would be nice to see what would happen if he was English, though perhaps you should not say that to an Irishman. I think he would be a challenge to all the other central defenders."

- Eriksson again, this time praising Richard Dunne and showing an awareness of 800 years of oppression.

Lucarelli's paper put-down

According to uefa.com Italian local newspaper Il Corriere di Livorno wasn't overly impressed by Cristiano Lucarelli's contribution when he came on as a sub for Italy in their scoreless draw against France, giving the striker a mere 5.5 out of 10.

Players, on the whole, can be quite sensitive about these ratings, so you might even think that Lucarelli would send an angry letter to the paper's owner. Perhaps not. The paper's owner, after all, is Cristiano Lucarelli himself.

"I'm very happy as we wanted an independent, apolitical and non-influenced newspaper," he said, "I was the first one to pay for our policy."

More quotes of the week

"As a player he was a ranter and a raver, but I think he's taken it back a bit - he's just a ranter now."

- Paul McShane on Roy Keane. Soon after McShane was given 24-hour police protection.

"There's more chance of me flying Concorde to the moon blindfolded than there is of him taking Wales to the World Cup."

- Robbie Savage sends his best wishes to John Toshack.

"Everyone will tell you goalkeepers are a strange breed - but he is probably the most normal 'keeper I have come across: he's not an eccentric and he's popular with the other lads."

- Roy Keane compliments Craig Gordon by confirming he's not Peter Schmeichel.

"I was thinking about the Irish lads last night. I woke up at four o'clock and I was thinking they would be awake at that moment. They would have got to Dublin about three and you don't sleep when you travel back from international games . . . so I was awake thinking about my players, because I care about them."

- Keane again, this time on how Paul McShane and Daryl Murphy keep him awake at night.

"It's hard to keep your feet on the ground when everyone is bigging you up so much but honestly, I can't walk on water like people are saying."

- Micah Richards astounded Manchester City fans with this revelation.

Waddle's sum tulip

Mike Ingham and Chris Waddle are turning in to quite a double-act on BBC radio, the pair producing yet another sublime moment during England's recent game against Israel: Waddle: "I would like to see Bentley brought on for the last 20 minutes." Ingham: "Twelve minutes left here at Wembley."

Black day for supremacist

Douglas Maximillian Lorenzo Mudge ("Doug", not surprisingly, to his friends) dropped a line to Plymouth manager Ian Holloway last year, demanding he only pick white players in the team. The letter, which was littered with "offensive, racist language", called for a "superior all white team" at the club.

Needless to say, Doug didn't put his name to the letter, but alas for him he had licked the stamp and the seal on the envelope - yep, they tracked him down through DNA. He was found guilty last week of "sending a letter conveying an offensive message" and will be sentenced next month.

The 55-year-old, who had replied "no comment" when asked how he felt about black players in professional football, intends appealing. "I'm not a racist," he insisted, vowing he'd get the dog to lick the stamp next time.

Even more quotes

" For me, it is what is inside a beautiful woman that is important, although she must also be beautiful, like Angelina Jolie."

- Cristiano Ronaldo rules out a date with Hilda Ogden.

"I'm not a big spender. I have one car, a Bentley GT convertible, and I like designer clothes, but I do not have wardrobes-full. I have a good watch, a diamond bracelet and some rings but a lot of my money is invested for the future, in property."

- Ronaldo again, this time on his frugal lifestyle.

"I believe they do not have normal 'keepers. (Paul) Robinson, putting it mildly, is not the strongest representative of his profession."

- Russian captain Andrei Arshavin, not long before Robinson kept a clean sheet against his lads.

"I got out of Bolton quick. The weather and English football were not for me. The forwards used to tackle me, a defender. I did not understand."

- Vincent Candela reflects fondly on his brief spell in the Premier League.

"Ray Clemence has got more chance of starting a game for England than me at the moment."

- Scott Carson, somewhat resigned to a prolonged spell of bench-warming.

England bring in ... Farley?

The dangerhere.com people were as bemused as Glenn Hoddle last week when they reported this exchange on Sky Sports between the former England manager and Ray Wilkins.

Wilkins: "All of a sudden we're getting Wayne Rooney coming off the bench. And we're getting Charlie Farley coming off the bench. And we're getting Frank Lampard coming off the bench." Hoddle: "Who is Charlie Farley?" Wilkins: "Umm, I don't know, it just came off the top of my head."

So, who is Charlie Farley? Our research (ie Google, keywords, click) solved the mystery. Charlie Farley is a childrens' and family entertainer based in Surrey, and was also the detective partner of Piggy Malone in The Two Ronnies. So, Ray actually made complete sense.

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times