Today's other stories in brief

Keegan's head turner

As we often do, we dropped in to the website of the Great Yarmouth Mercury last week and happened upon a story about the town's House of Wax, commonly regarded, apparently, as the worst waxwork museum on planet earth. We thought this was harsh, until we saw photos of some of their works. We actually thought Harold Macmillan was Kylie Minogue.

Seventy of the heads are being put up for auction to give the museum room for more current celebrities, but valuer Sylvia Cooper had immense difficulty figuring out who they were meant to be.

"We have not been able to trace an identity for some of them because the makers did not put names on them," as the House of Wax owner Peter Hayes explained.

One of the photos we saw was that of an English manager. Have a look and guess who he might be. Stumped? We were too. Okay, here's a clue: he's just become manager of Newcastle again. No kidding.

Quotes of the week

"If I was Fabio Capello the only worry I would have is whether the England job drives you doolally. Because on the evidence of Glenn Hoddle, I think it must."

- Should be interesting when Jimmy Greaves and Hoddle next meet up at a Spurs legends do.

"I don't want to comment on who or what will take over my job at Newcastle."

- Sam Allardyce. Who or what?

"I am sure we will see pictures of Sam (Allardyce) in his Speedos walking along a beach somewhere. That won't be a pretty sight."

- Steve Bruce leaves us with an image that will haunt us til our dying day.

"He has played for nearly every club in the world. It is absolutely amazing how much money he's moved for. He is, himself, a bank."

- Arsene Wenger considers taking out a loan with Nicolas Anelka.

"The manager I had the least time and respect for was David O'Leary. He was insincere in a greasy way."

- Retired referee Jeff Winter shares the love.

"Winning a trophy with City would be a bigger achievement than winning the Champions League with Liverpool."

- Didi Hamann, not banking on any open-top bus rides through Manchester in the foreseeable future.

Cesc not so Daffyd

Cesc "there's magic in them there feet" Fabregas had many a wondrous moment in 2007, but the highlight, perhaps, was his attempt at an impression of Daffyd, as played by Matt Lucas in Little Britain, on BBC Radio's Chris Moyles Show. Just try to imagine "I'm the only gay in the village" in husky Spanish tones and you'll have the right idea.

As someone observed at the time, he sounded more like Borat than Daffyd.

Well, we learnt last week that Arsene Wenger doesn't share his midfielder's passion for Little Britain, in fact he's never seen it. He admitted as much at the launch of the club's TV channel when he failed to recognise Lucas who, as an Arsenal fan, had been invited along. Lucas took no offence and before identifying himself said to Wenger: "You probably think I'm Kenny Sansom."

That's a likeness that belongs in the Great Yarmouth House of Wax.

Young slightly bigger

Last year Martin O'Neill expressed some concern about the rather fragile build of his young winger Ashley Young, noting "he looks like a heavy shower could kill him". His intent was to feed the young fella up so he wouldn't be quite so easily brushed off the ball by beefy full backs. Any progress? Yes, thankfully. "He has put on weight," O'Neill revealed last week. But. "He'll soon be up to three-and-a-half stone. He is so slim we could put him through a letterbox."

Deep-fried Snickers bars, it's his only hope.

More quotes of the week

Question: "What will you do after football?" Nico Patschinski: "Porn and alcohol, man."

- As seen in yesterday's Observer, the FC Union Berlin striker plans for his retirement.

"Ronaldo has broken the mould for wide players. I played there and I used to think one in six was a good record of scoring, but I look at his record - it's one in one."

- Steve Coppell. And Ronaldo, of course, maintained the ratio against Coppell's Reading on Saturday.

" Within four years we will challenge Milan in Europe.

- Queen's Park Rangers co-owner Flavio Briatore has them rolling in the aisles.

" The people at Portsmouth know I will not spend my life at this club. If I shine, if a really big club wants me, I know everything will go well."

- On the day he signed for Portsmouth from Arsenal Lassana Diarra issues a come-and-get- me plea to the big boys.

"When Kevin first came to the club he asked to be called "Super Kev". To be honest, we thought he must be a bit of a knob-head, but now we know why."

- West Brom's Jonathan Greening on the free-scoring, not so humble Super Kev Phillips.

Owen changes Toon

"He seemed the complete package. But if it was for some players, it wasn't for me. I used to go into games believing the opposition was scared of me and that nothing could get in my way. That feeling, that belief, evaporated at times when I played under Keegan. It was a dark phase in my career."

- Michael Owen on his England career under Kevin Keegan (2004).

"Anyone who is not uplifted by his arrival must have something seriously wrong with them. The fans and players are certain to respond. He'll bring back the style of play the fans want, a way that lets me play the way I can be most effective."

- Michael Owen, eh, last week.