Planet Football

Compiled by Mary Hannigan.

Compiled by Mary Hannigan.

Cunningham on tour: Huggies to our friend Stevo who emailed us with this last week: "I spotted this dodgy line-up from a US v Costa Rica under-20 match. Check the name of the CR No 21. I reckon our captain has some explaining to do." Ready? Line-up - Costa Rica: 18 - Keilor Navas; 6 - Greivin Arce, 7 - Mauricio Mora . . . Subs not used: 1 - Daniel Cambronero, 4 - Esteban Granados, 21 - Kenny Cunningham.

Eh?

Quotes of the week:

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"The only way I can spend is to buy."

- Kevin Keegan on BBC Radio 5 Live, as heard by a Private Eye reader. It's only January 24th but already we have our quote of the year.

"The team's performances are like a stripper's knickers - they are up one week then down the next."

- York City manager Viv Busby, as heard by Football 365. Thanks for that Viv, lovely.

"Romario misunderstood what I said and got upset. I apologise if he took it the wrong way. He's small and highly strung, but I've got nothing against him."

- Pele attempts to patch up his differences with Romario. Ish.

"We were at Dundee United together in our younger days and were similar types of player - crap." - Scottish coach Walter Smith on his old pal Dick Campbell, the Partick Thistle manager.

"I read his quote about Thistle almost having committed 'adultery' against Queen of the South. He meant to say suicide."

- Smith on Campbell again.

Rugby collapse: When Inter Milan came back from 2-0 down, with seven minutes to go, to beat Sampdoria 3-2 earlier this month we felt fairly certain the feat would go unmatched for the rest of the season. We were wrong. Sutton Coldfield Town found themselves 2-0 down, with a minute to go, against Rugby United in the third round of the Southern League Cup last Monday - and won 8-2. After extra-time.

Ready? Luke Fuller pulled a goal back in the 89th minute before Dean Perrow equalised in the 90th. Kevin Jones made it 3-2 to Sutton Coldfield a minute into extra-time with Perrow making it 4-2. At this point - and, not having seen the match, we could be wrong - Rugby sort of collapsed, David Berks scoring four goals in the last 20 minutes.

The highlight of the whole business was, though, the quote from Rugby manager Tony Dobson after the game: "I was proud of the lads. It might look like a drubbing, but for 90 minutes we were the better team and deserved to win." P.S. - During our in-depth research into Sutton Coldfield Town we think we might have found a player for Brian Kerr, except no one seems quite sure how to spell his surname. On four different websites he was named as Exodus Geoghanghan, Exodus Geohaghan, Exodus Geoghan and Exodus Geohagan. Already we can hear Lansdowne Road rock to the strains of "there's only one Exodus Geoghegan".

The leaving of Birmingham: "I am glad it's over. I am disappointed with the whole thing and how it was handled. It turned into a farce. We became a laughing stock. It has been a circus these last few weeks. But there is life after Robbie Savage and I think I have said my piece now."

- Steve Bruce, intent on putting the Savage-to-Blackburn saga behind him.

"I don't suppose the fans will forgive him. I haven't forgiven anything. Robbie Savage did very well for this club but it's time to move on. We have had four or five weeks of constant Robbie Savage."

- Steve Bruce, very nearly putting the Savage-to-Blackburn saga behind him.

"I have never had anything like that happen before. When a player wants to go they have a certain power. And when they make it blatantly obvious you have to concede defeat."

- Steve Bruce, who, any moment now, will put the Savage-to-Blackburn saga behind him.

"A lot has been said about me only wanting to leave because I couldn't handle the pressure, but I think I handled it pretty well because I kept them in the Premiership for the last two years."

- Savage's affectionate adieu to Birmingham.

"The pressure of playing for a big club like Birmingham has played on Robbie's mind. I think he'll be better off at a smaller club like Blackburn."

- Birmingham City chief David Gold's affectionate adieu to Savage.

Bowled over by goldfish: You might have stumbled upon the story last week about the folk at Carlisle United finding two goldfish in the goal-mouth at Brunton Park after the recent floods, both, apparently, having been washed out of nearby houses. They have now been given a new home in a bowl in the reception area of the club. The part of the yarn that caught our eye, though, was the comment by the woman who found them: "A few of the fans have been in to see the goldfish, saying they represent the fighting spirit of the club."

We mean no offence to our goldfish readers, but since when have they been known for their fighting spirit? Have you ever seen a goldfish raise his fists? Us neither.

More quotes of the week;

"All you need is a strong group of players - you don't need a Hollywood star. What the devil is a Galactico anyway? The image comes from the social lives, and fame the players have achieved. It is those Galacticos that I distrust."

- Who could Jose Mourinho be talking about?

"KitKat Crescent was the obvious choice of name."

- York City managing director Jason McGill announcing the new name for Bootham Crescent, after a sponsorship deal with Nestle-Rowntree. Why not Yorkie Crescent?

"In England my team-mates at Chelsea say to me that my football is better suited to Spain."

- Ricardo Carvalho. With team-mates like that who needs opponents?

"The last time we got to the fourth round we got Stoke away in 2003 and, no disrespect to them, now we have Burnley."

- Peter Phillips, chairman of Bournemouth (£6 million in debt), elated (choke) after Burnley knocked Liverpool out of the FA Cup.

"I've barely slept properly since I took this job on. I wake up at 3 a.m. every morning with chronic pains in my chest and my stomach. I feel like shit and think I'm just going to have a massive heart attack one morning and that will be it."

- Harry Redknapp, enjoying the managerial challenge at Southampton.

Delaney on fast track: We know John Delaney, interim chief executive of the Football Association of Ireland, is in a hurry to tidy things up at Merrion Square, but we had no idea just what a just speedy pedigree he has. From a press release last week about the Olympic Council's new home in Howth: "Irish athletes have brought Olympic medals back from 19 of the modern Games with a number of memorable victories including John Delany's glorious burst of speed to take 1,500 metres gold in Melbourne 1956."

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times