There are many ways to carry a golf bag. Some caddies look awkward, others less so. As a novice caddie there is a telltale sign to the owner, that you know what you are doing.

Johan Rystrom as a tour school player decided to opt for a local caddie at last week's German Open. There are a few reasons why a professional golfer will take a local caddie at a tour event. A good local can be a great help at reading tricky greens. There may be no tour caddies available or more likely, the player is broke. As Rystrom strode off the first tee last week, he became instantly aware of his caddie's looping style. It had the "I haven't a clue what I'm doing" look about it. The young local lad had Rystrom's bag on his back as if he was carrying a quiver. "Robin Hood" style as we say back in the caddie shack.

Johan was immediately filled with anxiety. With the clubs held vertically on his back, the first steps of this young caddie's career were much like watching a young bird trying to fly for the first time, a cumbersome, stumbling effort. Being a par five, Johan wasn't sure if his "sherpa" would make it to the first green. So he received his first lesson on the tee; strap over the shoulder, bag as horizontal as possible, club-heads pointing out front, without losing any clubs in the process.

Naturally this is not the ideal start for a professional for the first round of the German Open. His fellow competitors, with experienced bag totters, were already a shot up on Rystrom if he was going to have to play and teach.

So, on marched Rystrom and his fledgling up the first. They, or should I say, Johan located his ball and instructed his `totter' to standby while he went to get a yardage. The dumbstruck caddie had no idea that there were numbers involved in this game and asked his player why he was going to get a yardage. With this response, Johan was already mentally wording his dismissal speech. He advised his young novice that his career was about to come to a premature end but he would like him to continue to the next green from where he would be substituted, by a trolley.

Through the scorer behind the first green, a message was passed to the caddie master that a player was sacking his caddie due to gross incompetence and would be requiring a trolley. Caddies come and go. Some last weeks, months or even years before falling foul of their bosses. Not many can boast of not making it to the first green, I have to believe that history has been made for the quickest dismissal in caddying. About five minutes or 250 yards.

The dejected caddie was last seen scrutinising the professionals striding out of the locker room sporting their masters weapons in elegant style. Quizzing any idle tour caddies about these yardage book things. He'll be back. By the time the Open returns to Bad Saarow next he'll be ready. I hope he gets a chance to make amends next year.

While Johan Rystrom was pulling his bag around the Faldo course some "real" caddies were trying to qualify on the adjoining Palmer course for the finals of the Caddie competition.

Caddies do not normally travel with their own golf clubs so most of us were using our players clubs. Most professionals clubs are totally unsuitable for the average golfer, due mainly to the stiffness of the shafts, so although there are quite a few competent golfers amongst the caddies, most of them were struggling with inappropriate equipment.

Despite the fact that there could have only been about 200 spectators at the German Open last Thursday, some of them had managed to wander onto the course where the caddies were hacking it.

They could be forgiven for mistaking the caddies for players, up to a point - they were wearing golf-type clothing, pulling big golf bags with names on them. But while are very good at emulating their players in pre-shot routines and set-ups they were lacking when it comes to executing the shot.

The errant spectators were redirected to the main event grateful that entry was free and they had not wasted too much time watching the pretenders.