AGAINST THE ODDS:Vinny is worried the budget may affect his pint of Uncle Arthur in a critical week for Irish international soccer

THERE WERE certain words - words like Cheltenham, Augusta, Everton, Bohs and The Dubs - that ignited Vinny Fitzpatrick's gentle soul with a thrill and set his fingers and toes aglow.

And there were others - such as spending cuts, share prices, borrowing, interest rates and taxation - that gave him the dry gawks.

Vinny had reached the point that whenever George Lee appeared on the telly, he had to switch it off.

"Give me Frannie Lee, Bruce Lee, even Robert E Lee," he'd mutter.

When it came to grave financial matters, Vinny's brain mostly disengaged. If, for example, he heard the word "recession", he immediately fingered his flaky scalp to ensure the few remaining strands of hair were dampened down and in place - for baldness was a subject about which he could be quite touchy.

As for "credit crunch", the only crunch that interested him was the one his cornflakes made in the morning after he'd applied a heaped tablespoon of sugar and ice-cold milk, full fat of course.

And "meltdown" was, for him, a 99 on a warm summer's day.

Not that Vinny was not prudent in his own simple way. In fact, as Bertie Ahern might have put it, he was fairly shrewd with the cash he earned as a reliable member of the Dublin Bus driver's fleet.

For over 20 years, he'd had a budget plan with the credit union in work, which meant he set aside a portion of his monthly salary to pay the bills.

The girls in the office were fantastic as they fired off cheques to cover his TV, phone, gas, electricity, house insurance and even those irritating bin charges.

He also budgeted for golf-society membership, holidays and Christmas, and entered a bi-monthly draw for a car - he didn't want one but there was always the cash alternative.

It had taken Vinny a while to get his head around the budget plan, and every November he still struggled to complete the form in time, usually relying on Daisy in the office to help fill it out.

Buried in the small print was "sundry items", for which Vinny budgeted two grand.

It meant that for the big National Hunt festivals of Cheltenham, Aintree, Punchestown - which often came as quick as the three fences down the back at Sandown - Vinny would ring Daisy and draw down €500 cash a time. The fourth €500 he held back for the Christmas racing.

It was all very simple and, as a saver, he also salted away loose cash in a battered old Jacob's biscuit tin, which he kept stowed away under his bed.

Last thing most nights, he'd fumble in his pockets and throw the odd note, and coinage, into the tin. Then, he'd give it a shake. The less noise it made the better.

On Tuesday night as he half-listened to the lads droning on about the draconian budget, Vinny's only concern was the price of the pint.

When he first started supping seriously in the late 1970s, you could get three pints of Smithwick's for a pound and have change for two bags of Tayto.

Now, you were hard-pressed to get two pints for a tenner, although Foley's, to their immense credit, doggedly kept the price of Uncle Arthur's finest at €4, while those of a more economical disposition - and there were plenty to be found in the nooks and crannies of Foley's - could enjoy a pint of Beamish for a knockdown €3.65.

After an hour debating the rights and wrongs of Mr Lenihan's handiwork, the talk turned from finance to football.

"About time," thought Vinny as he snapped to attention.

For the first time on the hallowed turf of Gaeldom, a World Cup match was taking place in Croker as Cyprus dropped anchor on the Northside for a match Ireland simply had to win.

The talk among the lads was of Giovanni Trapattoni and his handling of Andy Reid, by common consent the most gifted schemer in green since Liam Brady was in his pomp.

Having blanked himself out of the budget blather, Vinny felt obliged to get the first tackle in.

"I think Trap's hanging himself out to dry by not playing Reid," he said, before sitting back and watching the pack run amok.

Brennie, unsurprisingly, was the first to land running: "Vinny, you've got to trust the man. He has a system and that defines his team selection. He wants two midfielders who can defend, not charge forward like the Light Brigade. So far, the tactic has worked perfectly."

Fran took an opposing view: "Let's get real here. Andy Reid is our most constructive player and should be playing. He's better on the ball than any other midfielder we have and it's a joke that he can't get into the team. I suspect it's personal between them.

"If this goes belly-up against Cyprus, and it could, then Trap deserves to take the rap.

"Remember a year ago when Reid was left out by Steve Staunton in Slovakia and Gilesy, Dunphy and Chippy Brady all had a go at him - well what are they saying now, particularly Brady?"

Macker felt the scoreline was the only arbiter when it came to judging Trap.

"It's a results business," he proffered. "Big Jack was the same. His teams played one-two with the angels but no one complained because we qualified for major finals."

As the debate continued, Vinny thought for a moment about all those giant yellow hands they were giving out at Croker on Wednesday with the slogan "Clap For Trap".

If Ireland dropped points against the Cypriots, that could easily become "Claptrap".

As for the game, he felt Cyprus were outstanding value at 9 to 5 with a goal start, while the draw at 7 to 2 looked an attractive bet.

As a long shot, he thought Richard Dunne, at 14 to 1 to score anytime, was due a goal.

He would pop in to Boru Betting at lunchtime on the morrow to place his bets and catch up on Angie's news, which reminded him he'd better show an interest in their wedding plans.

The wedding! Now, there was something he'd never budgeted for. How much was that going to set him back? Did he pay for it all? Or was it a 50-50 thing?

A grimace replaced the grin on Vinny Fitzpatrick's face as he called for five more pints.

Bets of the Week

3pts Ireland to draw with Cyprus (7/2 Boylesports)

1pt Richard Dunne to score anytime against Cyprus (14/1, Paddy Power)

Vinny's Bismarck

1pt Lay Georgia to beat Bulgaria (4/1, liability 4pts, general)