Alarm bells ring as pro-am cooks the Goose

Caddie's Role: Short on daylight and big on amateurs who want to partake in the Nissan Open, as soon as you can see the first…

Caddie's Role: Short on daylight and big on amateurs who want to partake in the Nissan Open, as soon as you can see the first fairway the pro-am starts. That was at 6.40am west coast local time. My player, Retief Goosen, was supposed to be the leader of the first group of enthusiastic amateurs last week at Riviera Country Club. Unfortunately, he was still sleeping as Woody Austin, the first alternate for the pro-am, took his place.

Given that the pro-am is a necessary evil for the higher ranked players on the PGA Tour, it would be misleading to say that the pro leaps out of bed on a Wednesday morning with unbridled enthusiasm about playing with "four new friends". But of course they like playing for the prize money that the new friends add to the generous purses on the US Tour.

It was to be our first week back after a month's break, and effectively it was to be the unofficial start of Retief's year. I waited, as we caddies do at most events on the US Tour, outside the clubhouse. The trouble with Riviera is that there are three doors from which the players can exit the locker-room.

Given that it was my first time to Riviera, I was not too sure which door my man would appear through.

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I stood outside the exit I assumed he would walk through at about 6am. Stephen Ames's coach was showing me the morning paper, with the news that Paul Casey is receiving therapy for the psychological trauma of playing in America after his anti-American comments of late last year.

Steve Williams was explaining what he remembered of his accident in a car race back in New Zealand three weeks ago. I was cringing at the look of his left hand, with over 50 stitches, heavily bandaged and very swollen, when I realised that maybe I should have made an effort to get hold of my player.

There was no answer on his mobile. As luck wouldn't have it, the range was quite a way from the clubhouse. On the way, I bumped into Andy Prodger, KJ Choi's caddie, who was also on the look out for his man.The range was empty. I had assumed that Retief was going to go straight to the tee, given that the range was a distance away and that it was still quite dark. As I expressed concern to those around me that I had not seen my player yet, with only 20 minutes to tee off, nobody hinted at the implications of missing your pro-am time.

I got hold of a tour official who had also tried to contact Retief, with no success. It was only then that I was made aware of our disqualification from the event as a result of tardiness. Obviously, I feel somewhat responsible for not being able to rouse my man from his slumber. I suppose it could be argued that I should have known the rule which was introduced last year as a result of a host of players not showing up for their pro-am time. I didn't, nor did the people I had been chatting to outside the locker-room. Otherwise I would have had more of a sense of urgency about shaking my man from his jet-lagged rest.

Retief awoke at 6.40. He immediately phoned me and I passed him over to Mark Russell, a tour official, who explained to him that he was disqualified from the tournament. He had no idea that this was the punishment either until that chilling moment early Wednesday morning last.

He arrived in his soon-to-be-handed over Nissan car, driving up Capri Avenue and into the players' car-park. He was still assuming that the already mooted punishment of disqualification from the Nissan Open could be turned around.

A call was made to Tim Finchem, the Tour Commissioner, straight to the top. Tim was unavailable. His right-hand man, Henry Hughes, was available, but only to confirm to Retief that there was no compromise: he was out of there.

An hour later we were on our way south on Interstate 5, destination Carlsbad, in plenty of time for the Accenture Matchplay Championship, due to start exactly seven days later. Golf pros do not hang around when their skill is no longer of value at a venue. There is always next week, so just an hour after his abrupt dismissal from the Nissan he was already mentally preparing for the matchplay event.

The LA radio show hosts gave Retief a defamatory pasting. On Tuesday evening, there had been a launch in the clubhouse for Retief's endorsement of Grey Goose vodka. Talk about bad timing. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, they say, and the word on Thursday morning talk radio was that the Goose got Grey Goosed on vodka on Tuesday night and couldn't make it out of bed. Retief is not a drinker and traditionally punctual, so naturally there was no truth to the rumour. Just a simple alarm clock technical difficulty. It didn't ring at 5am on Wednesday last.

We interrupted our trip to San Diego with a visit to an electrical store to buy a new alarm clock.

As we continued our trip south we came to the conclusion that perhaps the rule of disqualification for innocently missing your pro-am time is a bit harsh. In an equitable justice system the punishment should fit the crime. A call from Finchem last Friday would suggest that an exception clause will be written into the rule book to avoid such an occurrence in the future.

Anyway, judging by the weather complications at Riviera last week, the faulty alarm clock may well have done us a favour.

Colin Byrne

Colin Byrne

Colin Byrne, a contributor to The Irish Times, is a professional caddy