Exciting news from the world of British poultry, where a leading producer has reported a huge increase in productivity since he started playing classical music to his hens.
Charles Bourns, who has 70,000 birds on a farm in Gloucestershire, told Farmers Weekly that non-stop exposure to a classical radio station had resulted not just in an increase in egg-laying, but faster growth rates in the birds themselves. Mr Bourns added that he had tried pop music, without success. "The birds prefer Classic FM," he said.
The news may come as a surprise to anyone who has ever kept poultry. From my own observations, I had always assumed that hens were tone-deaf. At any rate, almost alone among the bird community, they seem to be incapable of carrying a tune. But perhaps it is only the rhythms of music to which they respond.
The question remains whether exposure to Classic FM has any effect on egg quality - although, as chairman of the UK's National Farmers Union Poultry Board, Mr Bourns may not be the person to ask (and anyway, he was away on business in Brussels yesterday when I rang).
Eggs are one of those many foods that used to taste better, or so many people think. Of course this could be mere nostalgia. But one theory is that, in general, small eggs are tastier than big ones; and big ones are often all you can find in your supermarket. Like French fries in fast-food restaurants, egg sizes begin with "medium" now. "Small" seems to have been abolished.
Even so, following the growth of free-range poultry farming, the playing of music in hen houses seems like a further advance in animal welfare. As with the "free range" label, the public may reward such practices to the point where they become the norm. Soon, perhaps, cartons boasting that their eggs contain "Omega 3" may be advertising the involvement of Radio 3 as well.
The benefits of music in dairy farming have long been debated. My Aunt Mary used to swear by them: when we stayed with her as children, she always have the radio on while milking. There was no Lyric FM then, so the cows had to settle for Larry Gogan's Top 30. But they seemed happy enough. I can still hear the rhythmic swishing of milk in the bucket, adding an element of percussion to Larry's pop picks.
The jury seems to be out on music's contribution to milk production, however. I note from the archives of Farmers Weekly that a study in the University of Wales in 2005 found no evidence of increased yield when Mozart ( Symphony 41 in C Major) was played to a herd of Guernseys. On the other hand, the University of Leicester reported that music, when compared with a period of silence, produced a 3 per cent increase in yield from a herd of 1,000 Holsteins. The researchers found better results with slower music, including Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony. By contrast, fast or "screechy" music had the effect of depressing yield.
The Leicester study suggested that, unlike Mr Bourns's hens, the cows had broad tastes. As well as Beethoven, they responded positively to Simon & Garfunkel ( Bridge Over Troubled Waters), REM ( Everybody Hurts) and even Lou Reed ( Perfect Day). Music they didn't like included the Beatles' Back in the USSR.
On which subject, spare a thought for the people of South Ossetia, who have also been the subjects of a musical experiment. Since the break-up of the USSR, the province has been attempting to secede from the republic of Georgia. And as part of a vicious crack-down, authorities recently staged a public concert near the rebels' stronghold, involving members of the 1970s pop group Boney M.
No - wait a minute - the concert wasn't part of a crack-down. In fact, it was a charm offensive by Georgia, aimed at persuading South Ossetians of the virtues of peace. It turns out that, contrary to what I had always thought, forcing people to listen to Boney M is not one of the punishments recognised by the UN Convention on Torture.
Not only that, but apparently the German band are very popular in the former Soviet Union, where they were among the few Western pop acts to play under Communism. Perhaps their music had a hidden pro-Marxist message. Or maybe the Politburo just couldn't resist such catchy numbers as Rasputin, with its immortal chorus: "Rah-Rah-Rasput-een/Russia's greatest love machine". There's a boundary beyond which bad pop music becomes so bad it's good. But it seemed to me that in an endless series of hits including Brown Girl in the Ring, Daddy Cool, and Hooray! Hooray! It's a Holi-holiday, Boney M got closer to that line - without ever crossing it - than any other band in pop history.
If you have managed to erase it from your memory, I apologise for mentioning that the band's singles also included Belfast. A Euro-disco treatment of the Northern Ireland conflict, its lyrics did not reach the dizzy heights of Rasputin; and for the life of me, I cannot now remember the tune (please don't remind me). But it is cheering to realise that, tortuous and all as the North's peace process has been, at least we were spared the Boney M concert.