It's tough being rich. For a start, you can't wear metal spikes on your golf shoes for fear of sinking into the turf under the weight of your wallet. Or so it seemed at the K Club in Co Kildare yesterday as the rich and powerful men of Ireland (and a sprinkling of women) took part in the European Open pro-am tournament.
The club insisted that all players wore rubber spikes to protect the greens, a sort of Yeatsian plea to "tread softly because you tread on my greens".
So politicians and businessmen queued to get their spikes changed before squelching across the patio for a five-hour walk in the sunshine after a small white ball.
Being rich also means that you don't have to retrieve your lost balls, as Dermot Desmond demonstrated on the first hole. After an initial glancing shot by Mr Desmond into the fir trees, a caddy was dispatched to recover the financier's ball. And the game continued.
Mr Desmond insisted that his legendary bets with fellow players, the professional investor J.P. McManus and horse-breeder John Magnier, were just legend. He would not even dignify with a denial the tale that the three once put a £20,000 stake on whose car would be delivered first by the valet.
"This is a day off from the office. We're here to play golf on one of Europe's finest golf courses", he said. "What you do when you're betting is that you have fun. The fun can be for 50p or more. And the fun is not increased by the amount."
But the legendary three amigos did not take to the greens together yesterday. Mr Magnier was replaced at the last minute by tennis pro Matt Doyle and the three joined Irish golf pro Paul McGinley for the 18 holes.
Mr Desmond, who has a handicap of 10, carried his mobile phone. It would only be switched on to make "relevant calls", he said, such as checks on the financial markets.
The Labour Party leader, Dick Spring, took the loss of his golf ball into the Liffey on the eighth hole with aplomb, according to photographers. With a handicap of 17 he could be seen in animated discussion with his partner, German pro Bernhard Langer.
"He was extremely helpful", Mr Spring said after completing the round. "He gave me tips that some of my family have been trying to give me for years, but I haven't been listening."
The Minister for Finance, Charlie McCreevy, said that there had been no talk of politics on the greens. It was a "fun game" and his ambition was to be able to play to his handicap of 15.
The European Commissioner, Padraig Flynn, was not burdened with such modesty. "I played exceptionally well and I was well within myself", he said with a grin on his sun-scorched face.
The Minister of State and Fianna Fail chief whip, Seamus Brennan, played on the Renault team with company chairman Bill Cullen and director Joe O'Grady. Any money won would go to the Irish Youth Federation, Mr O'Grady said earnestly.
Mr Brennan chuckled beside him. "For a minute I thought you were going to say the money would go to Fianna Fail."
