Reconciliation is a "sort of surrender" for some in the North, the Church of Ireland Primate, Archbishop Robin Eames, has said.
Many communities find the current situation difficult to address because of political uncertainties, and for the churches reconciliation in the North was "a process - not a fact", he said, adding that traditional lines "of 'friend' or 'foe' have become blurred".
At the Meath Peace Group in St Columban's College in Navan last night, Dr Eames said the peace process made demands some find hard to address.
"The cost they are asked to pay is too great because of their memories. Trust continues to be at a priority. Trust has been the real casualty of our Troubles and we have yet to achieve it," he said.
"The sooner political stability was established the easier relationships will be established across the divides. What both communities yearn for is the assurance that terrorism is now a thing of the past."
There was evidence of widespread alienation and polarisation between working-class areas of Belfast in particular, he said.
"Protestants need a new confidence that they have a secure future in Northern Ireland. Roman Catholics need to recognise they are no longer second-class citizens and accept the privileges of equality. Both traditions must find a new confidence in themselves and in each other."
He believed the churches had a vital role to play at the local level. He noted there is greater co-operation today among the churches than ever before and "greater honesty between denominations.
"When we despair of the way forward, look back to the past and marvel at how far we have come. Things are being said and done today between Christians of different denominations which would have been impossible even 15 years ago."
