![Black Paddy: 'I love the fast life. But it [parenthood] actually just happened randomly, and I’m grateful because it slowed me down'](https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/KDOTJPDU5VFXJFMTBEXJTCDHQY.jpg?auth=f6dce030093fb98faedb0290a0cf53cb172cdf072410635cae4298af357a5b6c&smart=true&width=1024&height=1365)
The real name of “The Black Paddy” – social media personality, influencer and dad of two – is Fabu D, but he prefers to be known as Black Paddy, he explains. He moved to Ireland from Nigeria more than 20 years ago and has had an eventful, and at times difficult, life so far, but he never quite imagined fatherhood would be part of it.
Black Paddy has a five-year-old son and three-year-old daughter, and is amazed at how attached his daughter is to him, and his son is to his mother. He thinks about having another child sometimes “in case one of them doesn’t like me”, he says, laughing.
Fatherhood “was a surprise. I’ve always been involved around entertainment. It’s always been that I would travel. I do a lot of MC work, comedy work. I’ve [always been] around nightlife, alcohol, drinking, you name it. So, that was my life growing up. I never thought in my life when am I going to settle down because I love this fast life. But it [parenthood] actually just happened randomly, and I’m grateful because it slowed me down.”
He’s co-parenting with the children’s mother. They are no longer a couple, but they still live together. “They changed me to be more caring, to be loving. I’d never change them for the world. But I’m really happy that I have someone in my life who’s helping me guide them, while I do my thing.”
One Ballsbridge review: Can Oliver Dunne break the curse of this Dublin 4 dining room?
Why are we getting condensation on our new triple-glazed windows?
100 great restaurants, cafes and places to eat in Ireland 2024
I had my kids in my mid-20s, which was unheard of among women of my class and generation
He credits parenthood and his children’s mother with turning his life around. “The old me, I would literally sleep with anyone,” he says. “I would drink a lot. Very heavy on drinking, so bad. I was homeless for three years in Ireland. I’ve been through everything under the sun. And at that stage of my life, I was about to even end it all.
“When my kids came into my life, everything changed,” he says, describing the mother of his children as his “best friend”.
“She changed my life too. When she came into my life, she took drugs out of my life. I was heavy on drugs – drugs like cocaine – she stopped that for me. She stopped me from doing things like that.”
He explains it wasn’t just that he hadn’t planned on children, he also thought he might not be able to have them. “I actually never thought I could have kids, because the amount of girls I’ve been with and they never got pregnant. And I thought, maybe something’s wrong with me. But she [his former partner] ended up giving me the best two kids of my life.
“And when I saw that, especially when I saw my daughter finally, I was like, hell no. I can’t be living life like this. I have to be more loving to everyone. I have to treat everyone with respect. It has been me spiritually, me physically and me mentally – I need to be a better person for my children.”
Though Black Paddy lives a lot of his life out on social media, he doesn’t put his children online. “Social media is a personal thing. It’s a platform to elevate your life, to elevate your personality. When I started social media and I had kids, it was very hard for me to see if I wanted to put them on social media or not. And I thought about it and I said to myself, I’ll wait until they’re old enough to tell me, ‘daddy, I would like to be in this’.”
He really hopes that time will come, as he’d love to have his children involved, he explains.
In the meantime, he wants them to enjoy childhood as he did. They watch very little TV, he explains, as he’d rather encourage them to mix with other people and enjoy books. Another reason he’s decided not to have his children on social media yet is because he’s also aware of the lack of control creators have over the sort of things posted on social media. Though others might advise him not to read the comments, he says it’s a necessity because social media pays the bills and this is his business.
Sometimes, he can get “a lot of negative comments”, and even “threats”.
He references one particular video he made about the July 12th march in Belfast, which provoked a strong reaction. “A lot of emails saying, ‘if I see you I’m going to break your face’. A lot of, ‘go back to your country’. A lot of monkeys. A lot of racism.”
His reaction, he says, was to ask, “God, please forgive these people.”
He wasn’t fazed, he says because his “intentions were pure. I’m doing it for love. I’m doing it for unity. I’m doing it to bring people together.”
The social media transition from Fabu D to Black Paddy was not welcomed by all, he explains. “When I started out as Fabu D, everything was great, I was very loved, both by the Irish black community and the Irish community. But the day I changed to Black Paddy, the black people neglected me. I was getting slagged on Twitter – left, right and centre. ‘Oh my God, look at him. He’s a dancing monkey to white people. Oh my God, he’s just entertaining white people. He doesn’t care about the black people of Ireland.’ And I was hurt.”
It’s not like that any more, though, he explains, as people who were doubtful about the change now congratulate him for sticking with it.
At a time of rising tensions and protests, Black Paddy says he worries about racism for his children, though he says he has some understanding of the Coolock protesters’ concerns. “I just hope that the future of Ireland gets better. I hope Ireland will understand that accepting other races and other cultures might benefit in some type of way. Me, personally, as a black man living in Ireland, I know that there is so many great people, so many loving people, so many welcoming people in Ireland... like in any other country, you will have the bad eggs.
“The only thing I can do is to teach my kids about racism. About not being accepted, it’s okay. Not to take things personally, it’s okay. People have their own way of living, love yourself more. Accept the colour of your skin. Accept yourself. If I can teach them that I should be all right. It’s a good country already, but I hope it stays that way and gets better.”
Spirituality is important to Black Paddy. “I’m very in tune with life. Every evening when I’m off I will walk bare feet on the ground. I will hug trees. Some days I will just do some voluntary work somewhere, randomly,” he explains, all of which help him to maintain good mental health.
“Jesus is my best friend,” he says, speaking of the importance of his faith to him. “If Jesus Christ lived here in this day and age, he wouldn’t be judgmental. He wouldn’t be like, ‘because you’re gay you’re not going to heaven’.”
He’s trying to rear his children with faith too, he says. “Before we eat, I’m ‘let’s pray’. Before we go to bed I’m ‘let’s pray’. I try my best to get them into the religious lifestyle. One religion is good. I don’t mind what religion,” he says explaining that he’s more spiritual than religious.
For Black Paddy, “the lows of parenthood are knowing that I brought them out to this evil world. I feel bad. I want to apologise to them,” he says, laughing.
The highs however “are after travelling all around the country, seeing different people, talking to [people in] different counties, and I go home and I just see my kids. That is the highest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. That makes me so happy.”
