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Three Wild Dogs (and the Truth) by Markus Zusak: When the family pets are ‘complete b*stards’ but also ‘beautiful darlings’

A frequently hilarious and also heartbreaking memoir about dogs you would cross the street to avoid

Markus Zusak: his real job was as personal valet to three lunatic dogs
Markus Zusak: his real job was as personal valet to three lunatic dogs
Three Wild Dogs (and the Truth)
Author: Markus Zusak
ISBN-13: 9781035062928
Publisher: Picador
Guideline Price: £16.99

Full disclosure: the Australian writer Markus Zusak and I have been friends for almost 20 years, both our lives changed by the publication of our Holocaust-themed novels The Book Thief and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas only weeks apart. So this is not so much a book review as a recommendation. But it’s a genuine recommendation, I swear, not just mates reviewing mates.

Having taken Markus 13 years to complete Bridge of Clay, I’ve urged him on my last few visits Down Under to pick up the pace a little, unaware that writing was only a sideline. His real job was as personal valet to Reuben, Archer and Frosty, three lunatic dogs that he; his wife, Mika; and their two children called family for many years.

I write this piece outside an Adelaide bar where, next to me, sits a young couple with a cavoodle so gorgeous that almost everyone who passes stops, demanding selfies. Strangers wouldn’t stop for the Zusak dogs; they’d cross the street. Maybe move states.

Noah, the Zusaks’ son, is almost mistaken for food when he’s a newborn

Reuben looks like Cujo. Archer, the Hound of the Baskervilles. Frosty is Britney Spears when she shaved her head and started screaming at photographers. They’re all barking mad – sorry – but find acceptance in the Zusak home.

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Reuben is so physically intimidating that when friends come to stay, their small children compose a song titled “Reuben, don’t kill us”. The plumber gets it in the neck. The piano teacher in the arm. Noah, the Zusaks’ son, is almost mistaken for food when he’s a newborn. Markus himself is knocked unconscious and ends up in surgery. One dog kills a possum. They both murder a cat. Mika is nearly arrested on suspicion of dragging a dead body into their house under cover of night and even this, incredibly, is canine-related.

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Although it’s frequently hilarious, it’s also heartbreaking for, with advancing age, final visits to the vet soon become inevitable. Still, the Zusaks’ devotion comes across in the book’s best line: “Those dogs might have been complete bastards, but they were also beautiful darlings.”

So yeah, he’s my buddy. But a book like this is one of the reasons I’m proud to call him that.

John Boyne’s next novel, Air, is to be published in May

John Boyne

John Boyne

John Boyne, a contributor to The Irish Times, is a novelist and critic