Congratulations on winning the Polari Debut Prize for Bellies. Tell us about that novel and what winning the prize means to you.
Bellies follows two young adults, Tom and Ming, who fall in love at university. When they move to London to start the next chapter of their lives, Ming comes out as a trans, which upends their relationship. It’s a novel about fumbling through your early 20s and the mistakes, excitement and heartbreak which comes with that.
It’s a huge honour to win the Polari debut prize – especially because it’s an award for books written within the queer community. I’m particularly happy because my book centres the experiences of a trans character and I can only hope that, somehow, this opens doors for other trans writers.
Our reviewer wrote: “Dinan’s gift as a writer is her ability to make us feel.” You’ve spoken of writing creatively to process things and re-experience emotions. Do you find writing emotional?
Yes, and I think part of that is also a result of being a poor planner. I don’t know what shape my novels will take when I start them, other than a vague sense of where they begin and may end. As I write, I’m often navigating difficult conversations and decisions at what feels like the same time as my characters – it’s hard not to find that emotional. But if I didn’t feel much for my characters, I can’t imagine my readers would, either.
[ Bellies by Nicola Dinan: A beautiful love storyOpens in new window ]
How helpful was being a part of the Faber Academy?
I was encouraged to call myself a writer, and to stop feeling embarrassed by taking writing seriously. That makes a world of difference.
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How has studying law and science fed into your writing?
Both fields value unambiguous communication, and working as a lawyer taught me how much can turn on a single word. I was always too clumsy to actually be a scientist – I was awful at labs – but I think my previous education and career means I’m a lot less clumsy with words. I care a lot about my writing being clear, accessible, and precise.
I’ve also done some work to let go of this, however, particularly in how I read. Not all words are a puzzle with a clear and defined solution. Reading all poetry in that way, for example, does it an injustice.
How important is it to create characters who are fallible? Is fiction an effective way to raise empathy for disenfranchised and marginalised communities?
It’s important because people are fallible – nobody believes anyone is flatly pleasant, short of having a lobotomy. Being gentle with representing Ming because she’s trans would be unfair to her. I didn’t want Ming to fall into the long history of trans characters in literature and film who are not complete people, and in many cases caricatures.
As for the empathy point, there are limits. There are plenty of well-read fascists. You meet people where they are. I don’t write my books with the expectation that anyone hugely opposed to the rights and autonomy of trans people will be totally changed by my fiction. If that audience was my focus, I don’t think I would enjoy writing. However, I do think that if there’s some openness in a reader – and I’d say this is true for the great majority of them – fiction can be transformative.
I’d love to meet Jennifer Egan, Sally Rooney, Kiley Reid and Min Jin Lee. As for the long-dead, I’m not sure I want to explain that I’m a trans woman to Dostoevsky
— Nicola Dinan
Tell me about your new novel, Disappoint Me.
Disappoint Me follows 30-year-old Max, a trans woman, who falls down the stairs at a New Year’s Eve party, wakes up in hospital and decides to find a boyfriend. She meets Vincent, a British-Chinese man, and finds herself drawn to the allure of heteronormativity, even if she feels deeply alienated from it.
The novel also follows Vincent during his gap year in Thailand in 2012, opening a dialogue between two relationships over a decade apart. At its core, Disappoint Me is about how and when we accept change in others, how we reckon with our complicated histories, and what it is we are actually seeking when we look for a partner.
Which projects are you working on?
I’m writing a speculative novel set in 1987 Hong Kong, 10 years before its handover from the United Kingdom to China. It’s a real change for me, of course with respect to genre, but also stylistically – it’s the first novel I’ve written in third person, and this has had surprising effects on voice and tone. I’ve really loved writing it and it’s made me feel hopeful about where my fiction can go next.
Have you ever made a literary pilgrimage?
I haven’t. Should I have? The closest I’ve come is with the artist James Turrell. If there’s an installation of his remotely close to somewhere I’m visiting, I will find it. Two of his installations appear in my second novel, Disappoint Me, which I think makes those trips literary pilgrimages of sorts.
What is the best writing advice you have heard?
To not judge myself for how I work – advice from my therapist, no less. My life as a writer is very different to many of my friends’, who are working steady jobs with defined hours, security and natural career progression. I compare myself often, and doubt myself and my career as a result. I repeat the mantra that I write when I like and when I can, and that’s okay.
[ ‘It’s been quite the journey’ – Life as a trans person in IrelandOpens in new window ]
Who do you admire the most?
Michelle Yeoh. I grew up in Malaysia, and while she has always been a national treasure, my heart swells each time I see her in a new movie. I cried watching her win an Oscar in 2023.
You are supreme ruler for a day. Which law do you pass or abolish?
Ban arms sales and military aid to genocidal regimes.
Which current book, film and podcast would you recommend?
Book: Hunchback by Saou Ichikawa; Film: Crossing; Podcast: The Kill List.
Which public event affected you most?
The ongoing genocide in Gaza, and watching world leaders line-up to support it through action and inaction.
The most remarkable place you have visited?
Naoshima, Japan. A tiny island filled with incredible galleries, many designed by Tadao Ando, housing installations and sculptures by artists like (you guessed it) James Turrell, Walter de Maria and Yayoi Kusama.
Your most treasured possession?
A watch which belonged to my deceased father, and which my mother passed down to me for my 25th birthday. I treasure it so much that it actually causes me a great deal of stress. I often spiral, thinking I’ve lost it when in reality I just haven’t worn it that day. Beautiful things are a burden.
What is the most beautiful book that you own?
Honestly, the Danish translation of Bellies, called Maveskind. As I recently learned, books are incredibly expensive in Denmark and it definitely shows in the paper quality. Every page is heavy, and bound together they make a tome.
Which writers, living or dead, would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Oh, no. I think if I were to invite some of my favourite writers to dinner – Rachel Cusk or James Baldwin, for example – I would crumble beneath the weight of their penetrating observation. I’m not sure how I’d hold up, or how much fun I would have. That being said, I’d love to meet Jennifer Egan, Sally Rooney, Kiley Reid and Min Jin Lee. As for the long-dead, I’m not sure I want to explain that I’m a trans woman to Dostoevsky.
[ Jennifer Egan: ‘I was astonished to find I made a lot of factual errors’Opens in new window ]
The best and worst things about where you live?
London. Quite boringly, there’s lots to do, but at what cost?
What is your favourite quotation?
Currently, it’s the epigraph for my third book – a quote from Chungking Express, one of my favourite movies: “Somehow, everything comes with an expiry date. Swordfish expires. Meat sauce expires. Even cling film expires.”
Who is your favourite fictional character?
It changes, but right now it’s Casey Han from Free Food for Millionaires by Min Jin Lee (the author of Pachinko). I read it earlier this year and think of Casey often. She is strong in her resolve, but at the end of the novel, remains a little lost at 25, having made choices which are right for her, but wrong in the eyes of nearly everyone else. I felt deeply connected to her, and I hope she’s okay.
A book to make me laugh?
Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons.
A book that might move me to tears?
Where Reasons End by Yiyun Lee.
Disappoint Me is published by Doubleday on January 23rd
