Woman secures barring order against ‘aggressive’ partner who allegedly throws out food to stop her eating

In separate case, man weeps as he consents to barring order sought by partner after allegedly beating her in front of their children

The Dublin District Family Court heard a woman has rent arrears of more than €4,000 due to her partner's addiction. Photograph: Stephen Collins/Collins
The Dublin District Family Court heard a woman has rent arrears of more than €4,000 due to her partner's addiction. Photograph: Stephen Collins/Collins

A woman who alleged her partner “busted” her eye, made threats to kill her, “throws food out so I can’t eat”, tracks her movements and checks she has changed her underwear, has secured a temporary barring order against him.

Her partner drinks heavily, has started taking cocaine and “wrecked” their home after drinking 36 cans in one day, the woman told the emergency domestic violence court at Dolphin House, Dublin.

She has rent arrears of more than €4,000 due to his addiction, she said.

“Anytime he drinks he gets aggressive, pinning me down, telling me what to wear,” she said. “He takes the car on me and lets the air out of the tyres so I can’t go anywhere.”

READ SOME MORE

He checks the bins “to see what I have eaten”, checks she has changed her underwear when she goes to fitness class, tries to turn their children against her and “torments” one child with special needs, she said. “My mental health is really suffering.”

Her ex parte (one side only represented) application was among up to 20 matters that came before Judge Gerard Furlong on Friday.

In another case, a man wept after consenting to a three-year barring order sought by his partner after he allegedly beat and kicked her in the face and body in front of their young children.

The man tearfully and repeatedly apologised to his partner, saying he was “so sorry”. “I still love you,” he told her.

The distressed woman replied: “It’s too late now.” Her barrister asked the man not to engage further with her.

When the man asked could he still see their two children, the judge said access was a matter for his partner as they are unmarried but he could bring an application.

The woman last week secured an interim barring order ex parte after attending court with severe facial bruising. When the matter returned to court on Friday, the man, escorted by prison officers, was present. He has been in custody since an alleged assault on his sister later on the same night of the alleged assault on his partner.

In a separate case, a widowed mother fought back tears after obtaining a protection order against her adult son with an “active cocaine addiction” since 2018, except for six months when he underwent treatment.

She is very afraid at home and has had drug dealers banging on the door looking for money, she said. Her son returned to her home last summer without her consent and she told him at Christmas he could not be in the house unless he is “clean” because she “can’t cope with the stress any more”.

Last weekend, he was using cocaine in her home and became very aggressive when she asked him over a number of days to leave, she said.

Becoming distressed, she asked the judge: “Where does it end?” Noting the situation was “very difficult”, the judge granted a protection order.

A mother of two young children got an interim barring order against her husband whom she alleged has been violent to her over 10 years, including during her pregnancies.

He had twice put a pillow over her face “to kill me” and had “many times” put his hand over her mouth to prevent her screaming while he kept hitting her in the face, she said. She incurred a lung infection due to staying outside her home in the cold to avoid beatings, she added.

After he beat her up badly in recent days, she contacted gardaí who advised her to go to a women’s refuge, she said. She had refused, and her husband now wants a “reconciliation” but she needs him out of the house.

Mary Carolan

Mary Carolan

Mary Carolan is the Legal Affairs Correspondent of the Irish Times