Man’s wife wouldn’t let him shower in case he was meeting someone after work, court hears

Family Law Court grants Protection Order to man as he fears for safety and mental health due to alleged abuse from ‘paranoid’ wife

At the Family Law Court, Judge Alec Gabbett granted the man a Protection Order under the Domestic Violence Act as he fears for his safety. Photograph: Dara Mac Dónaill/The Irish Times
At the Family Law Court, Judge Alec Gabbett granted the man a Protection Order under the Domestic Violence Act as he fears for his safety. Photograph: Dara Mac Dónaill/The Irish Times

A man has told a court that his “paranoid” wife did not allow him to have a shower on a Thursday as she believed he was going to meet someone after work the following day.

At the Family Law Court, Judge Alec Gabbett granted the man a Protection Order under the Domestic Violence Act after the man said that he fears for his safety and mental health in the marriage and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to constant physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

In his statement seeking the Protection Order, the man said that he can no longer control any aspect of his life.

He said: “Things have gotten so bad that my clothing and showering habits are being dictated to.”

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In response, Judge Gabbett asked: “What does that mean? She is telling you what to wear?”

In response, the man said: “What to wear to work. And I wasn’t allowed to shower on a Thursday because she reckons I could be meeting someone after work on a Friday.”

Judge Gabbett asked: “There is an element of paranoia?” In reply, the man said: “Absolutely.”

The man alleged that he has been “hit numerous times” by his wife.

On the emotional abuse, the man said that this involves what he wears and his wife saying that he has cheated on her with someone else. He said that the emotional abuse also involved alienation, where he is not allowed to see friends and family.

The man confirmed to Judge Gabbett that he has now left his wife. The man agreed with the judge that because of this, there is no immediate risk of physical harm from his wife. He said that the main reason for seeking the Protection Order is that his wife may turn up at his workplace.

The man said that he didn’t want the granting of the Protection Order to affect her job.

Judge Gabbett said such orders are very serious and can allow gardaí to arrest his wife without a warrant if there is a breach of the order.

Gordon Deegan

Gordon Deegan

Gordon Deegan is a contributor to The Irish Times