Whoa! Here comes the summer. Whoa! There goes the summer.
When the Undertones recorded their 1979 classic, one of its many charms was that it lasted just one minute and 34 seconds. It was melodic but abrupt. That, sadly, is now a measurement of how long football's close season now feels. And the melody is not unchained.
Remember, if you can, July 2nd. That was the date of the Euro 2000 final in Rotterdam. It was 43 days ago. Remember the score? It was 2-1 to France. They beat Italy. Can you name the Italy scorer?
It is understandable if you cannot, because those of you who paddle in the stream of football have since been hit by a torrent of information, gossip, supposed deals and real deals every minute of every one of those 43 days. There is a website called football365.com and rarely has something been better named.
Just 10 days after David Trezeguet's golden goal this season's European club competitions began. The players of Shelbourne and Linfield mixed it with sun-struck hopefuls from Europe's other nether leagues in the InterToto Cup. Next came Bradford City and Aston Villa, both sets of players having returned to training the morning after the Euro 2000 final. In the case of Villa, this was 40 days and nights after the FA Cup final. Can you recall how bad that was and who scored for Chelsea?
Six days earlier Bradford had beaten Liverpool 1-0 to stay in the Premiership and relegate Wimbledon. Remember David Wetherall's header, anyone? Since then Bradford have lost their manager, Paul Jewell, and gained the brat that is Benito Carbone. Carbone, who wouldn't have been within a mile of Dino Zoff's Italy squad had Marco Pantani been pedalling for him, somehow commands £30,000 per week. Bradford seem happy to pay him. Marco Delvecchio was Italy's scorer.
It was last August when Carbone stormed out of the Dell having been informed by Sheffield Wednesday's then manager, Danny Wilson, that he would be a substitute. For some reason that tiresome little episode feels a lot longer than 12 months ago. More like last century. Wilson is now manager of Bristol City, they won 2-0 at Wrexham on Saturday, England's Football League season having started the same day county cricket reached its cup semi-final stage.
Thus was cricket's showpiece day overshadowed by football 365. Maybe it is not the position of football reporters to complain about the present ubiquity of the game, but there is something unappealing about all this football. Not only is the sport's ever-increasing dominance threatening to other sports and sporting cultures, the sheer weight of information about football is as alienating as it is educational. We see more of the game, read more about it and are subjected to constant phone-ins on its issues. But do we understand more?
We know, for example, that last season the players with most shots on target in England's Premiership were Kevin Phillips, Thierry Henry and Frank Lampard. But what does that tell us? Everton made 1,089 tackles as a team last season. Bravo.
Information should bring one closer, but the prominence of statistics instead pushes understanding farther away. This could be the reason why 12 months of football now seems three times that length. Can it be true that as late as June 1999 Brian Laudrup was still a Chelsea player? Is it correct that on this day last year Robbie Keane played for Wolverhampton Wanderers? Yes and yes. Roberto Di Matteo scored the Chelsea FA Cup winner by the way.
Starting last August at Wolves and finishing it at Coventry did not prevent Robbie Keane from being player of the month in England. Funny how such a fact gets lost in the statistical forest. But then other notable events from last August also feel like distant memories. John Barnes' first game in charge at Celtic, for instance, a 5-0 win in Aberdeen. Ruud Gullit's last for Newcastle, a home defeat by Sunderland. On the 31st of the month Manchester United paid Venezia £4.5 million for Massimo Taibi, so annoyed was Alex Ferguson with Mark Bosnich even then.
Massimo came, flapped at a couple, and went. He is just one of the plethora of foreigners who do little but make it difficult for us to retain our knowledge and affection for whatever club we support. Thomas Helmer at Sunderland? Played once, went on loan to Hertha Berlin. Avi Nimni at Derby? Started twice.
Remember any of that trio next August and you will be doing well. Remember the summer and you'll be doing better. There is no longer a season. It's football 365 - the continuous loop.
