WHEN is a drama schedule not a drama schedule, and when is autumn not really autumn? Liam Miller, director of programmes, television, was quoted in these pages this week as saying that RTE had been constantly criticised for its lack of drama, but that the feature length films Snakes And Ladders, The Sun, The Moon And The Stars and The Boy From Mercury would be screening this season. Film buffs will know that two of these features have been seen at festivals over the last few months, while Snakes Andy Ladders will have its world premiere in Toronto in a couple of weeks' time. All three films were part financed by RTE, but none of them has yet received a cinema or video release. According to RTE, "autumn" in Montrose is an elastic concept which can stretch well into the New Year, and even as far as April. But at least two of these films have holdback agreements deferring any broadcast until next summer at the earliest. Claire Duignan of RTE's Independent Productions Unit accepts that including Snakes And Ladders was a mistake, as it's not likely to be screened for more than a year, but claims she hopes to see the other two films in the next few months, which appears unlikely given that their cinema releases are planned for October and December. It seems that RTE has been trying to puff up emaciated schedules - not surprisingly given that the only other home produced drama on offer is the usual fare of Glen roe, Fair City and Upwardly Mobile.
In comparison, the British channels offer an embarrassment of riches. Fans of costume drama are more than adequately catered for, with ITV getting in on the Pride and Prejudice act. Andrew Davies, who was responsible for P&P, Middlemarch and Martin Chuzzlewit for BBC, moves to ITV with two new adaptations, of Emma and Moll Flanders, in November and December respectively. Obviously, ITV doesn't read the Hollywood trade papers, or it might have noticed that cinema versions of both novels are also due this autumn - the comparisons should be interesting.
The BBC has Anne Bronte's The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, with Tara Fitzgerald and Rupert Graves and Billy Connolly takes the lead role in Deacon Brodie, a swashbuckling tale of a notorious 18th century Scottish villain.
The big blockbuster for the BBC, though, is Rhodes, its £10 million eight part epic on the South African explorer which starts in mid September. The most expensive drama ever made by the Beeb, it stars father and son Martin and Joe Shaw as older and younger versions of Cecil Rhodes, the man whose imperialist ambitions shaped modern Africa. BBC 2 also promises The Crop Road, a four part family saga from cult novelist lain Banks.
The vogue for exhuming the 1970s can be seen across the new schedules, with new versions of all kind of favourite series from that fashionable decade. This week on BBC 1, the puppets return after an absence of 15 years, still presented by good old Kermit and Miss Piggy, but with a host of new characters. (Those who believe the Muppets aren't really drama should watch out for the show's new serial, Bay of Pigs Watch, starring the amply endowed Spamela Hamderson.)
Fins of Poldark will be pleased to see that a feature length sequel is promised by ITV in October, and The Legacy of Reginald Perrin reunites most of the original cast for a new seven part series on BBC 1.
SOME of the most popular series of the last few years return briefly for one off specials. John Thaw is back as Inspector Morse to solve a new case in Daughters of Cain, while Helen Mirren again; plays Jane Tennison in a two parter of Prime Suspect in October (both ITV). Jennifer Saunders swore blind that we had seen the last of Absolutely Fabulous when the third series came to its apparently definitive end, but there's an hour long special also scheduled for October, with Patsy and Edina trying to set up a cable TV station. In the same month Robbie Coltrane takes a break from the mean streets of Britain for a one off episode of Cracker, set in Hong Kong. Cracker's writer, Jimmy McGovern, has a new drama in December: Hillsborough reconstructs the events of the 1989 football disaster from the viewpoint of three families.
When it comes to a dearth of home produced drama, there's one channel which is far worse than RTE in the level of its output. Untroubled by the restrictions and requirements imposed on its terrestrial rivals, Sky One has happily survived up to now on an unrelieved diet of American imports. That's finally due to change in October, with Sky's first home grown series, Springhill, a weekly serial set in Liverpool, cent ring on a large Catholic family whose life is torn apart by the discovery of a huge secret.
ITV was criticised last year for not originating enough new popular drama, and it responds with the Gothic horror three parter, Wilderness (yet another offering from the amazingly prolific Andrew Davies), Beck with Amanda Redman as a private eye who specialises in missing persons, and Ain't Misbehavin, a "period musical" comedy drama featuring the debatable talents of Robson and Jerome in a wartime London setting.
If you think Rob son and Jerome are cheesy, though, brace yourself for the arrival of ITV's Sometime Yever. In an impressive example of broadcasting synergy, Sara Crowe and Ann Bryson (better known as the Philadelphia cheese girls) get their own sitcom after years of being spread and sliced over the ad breaks. What next? Nescafe - the Movie?
