"Hello, this is your mobile phone talking. I know, weird isn't it? I knew I'd find you here - yes you, the one without the TV licence!"
This particular version of RTÉ's current spate of TV licence-reminder ads has yet to air, but may do shortly following yesterday's launch by Vodafone and Sky of Ireland's first 23-channel TV service for mobile phones. The move comes amid uncertainty about whether the handset holder requires a €155 licence for what is, in essence, a teensy-weensy portable TV.
"That's an interesting one. I'll have to go check," said a spokesman for the Department of Communications, which has responsibility for legislation in the area. In theory, if you don't have a licence at all, you need one. But I don't think anyone would expect anyone to go get a TV licence for their handset," said a spokesman for 3G mobile operator 3.
"To be perfectly honest, I don't know. That's a very interesting question. I would assume that you would not," mused Brian Foley, analyst with Dublin telecommunications research company iReach.
Vodafone's take? "At the moment, no, we don't believe you do," said a spokeswoman. "But we are watching the area very closely and will inform customers as needed."
But technically, it looks like you do indeed need to pay RTÉ for the privilege of watching those Lilliputian World Cup goals and Sky News broadcasts. As the Wireless Telegraphy Act 1972 states, "'Television set' means any apparatus for wireless telegraphy capable of receiving and exhibiting television programmes broadcast for general reception (whether or not its use for that purpose is dependent on the use of anything else in conjunction therewith) and any assembly comprising such apparatus and other apparatus."
Eventually, the Department of Communication comes back. "Mobile phones are wireless telegraphy-based devices and, as such, can be regarded as falling within the ambit of wireless telegraphy legislation," said the spokesman, adding that Irish punters are still safe, as no operators currently offer broadcast TV in Ireland.
Oops. As of yesterday, this is no longer true. Perhaps time to change Ireland's outdated legislation then, last amended in 1988. The spokesman says a new Broadcast Bill, due later this year, "will seek to 'future proof' the relevant provisions".
In the meantime, you view Wayne Rooney's miniaturised foot or the extra-small evening news broadcast at your own risk.
