Old Museum Arts Centre, Belfast
The applause is prolonged and deafening. It is yet another night of triumph for the Crooner. Flowers and scanty undies are thrown onto the stage by his army of adoring fans, who will not let him out of their sight. He stands, arms outstretched, relishing every delicious moment. In his dreams. The reality is rather different.
A battered ghetto blaster, a crackly backing track and a shabby suit constitute the Crooner's supporting act as he plies his trade around the thankless circuit of the working clubs. He's been singing the same songs, telling the same jokes, for years. Apart from the odd boozy heckler, nobody pays him any attention, not even the girl he's invited along. If it weren't for his dreams, he'd be a dead duck.
But, oh, what dreams. Through Mike Ashcroft's fantastically slick, polished dance and mime routines, we glimpse the world of moonlight and love and romance that keeps the Crooner going through his darkest hours. In his imagination, he becomes a Hollywood film star, a romantic heart-throb, a comic, a lounge lizard, a soft-shoe shuffler. Ashcroft brings the swagger and confidence of his work with DV8, Slack Dance and The Kosh to this engaging one-man show, which is a touching tribute to the brave performers who never make the grade. One minute he is the epitome of suave sleekness, the next a pathetic third-rate cabaret turn. His little face beams with pathetic desperation as he bids goodnight to his bad-mouthing audience. "It's been a sincere pleasure," he says, for the umpteenth time that week. Like hell it has.
The Crooner is at the Riverside Theatre, Coleraine, today; bookings on 048-7032 3232
