Brexit. Day 2. Curtains open.
A yellow-haired man in a ditch cries out: “Help, help. Will someone get me out of here.” Two men, passing, peep down.
The yellow-haired man shouts: “Ah, Erdogan, my people came from your country, won’t you help me?”
The man addressed as Erdogan looks puzzled. “….Erdogan?” he says.
“Yes, Turkey,” goes the man in the ditch. “My great-grandfather Ali Kemal was from there. He was murdered in 1922 during the Turkish War of Independence. You owe me.”
The man referred to as Erdogan responds “I think there is some confusion.”
His companion becomes excited, pointing to the man in the ditch: “It’s Pozzo!” The man in the ditch growls back: “it’s Bojo!”
Recognising the second man, he goes: “Ah, Vladimir. Can you get me out of here?” Vladimir hesitates. Then says “…can’t!”
Bojo is perplexed. “..and why not? You helped in the 2016 referendum.”
Vladimir and `Erdogan’ gaze at one another, puzzled.
“I think there is some mistake,” says Vladimir. “What mistake?”asks Bojo. He points: “you are Recep Erdogan, President of Turkey and you are Vladimir Putin, President of Russia?”
Both men look at one another, astonished, and stutter in chorus “…we are!!”
Gazing at Bojo in the ditch they ask “…and who are you?”
He replies “I am Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. And I am waiting for Brexit.”
They respond: “…..we are Vladimir and Estragon and we are in Waiting for Godot. Sorry Pozzo, this is the wrong play.” They move, stage left.
“It’s bloody Bojo. More Irish trouble from that Murphy fellow.”
Bojo was, of course, wrong. “You’re wrong,” said Vladimir, “though he did write a novel called Murphy. It began, `the sun shone having no alternative on the nothing new’.”
Bojo shook his head: “Like a House of Commons debate. Ah! Beckett, wasn’t it? The critics said his Godot was a play where nothing happened, twice!”
To which Vladimir retorted: “In waiting for Brexit nothing has already happened three times!” They exit, stage left.
Bojo waits. In the ditch. Where he said he would rather be dead than ask for an EU extension. He asked. He received, and he remains very much alive.
Sic transit gloria Britannia.(Thus passeth the glory of Britain)
Waiting from Anglo French waitier, `to watch'; Old English wacian, `to be awake'…
inaword@irishtimes.com
