Priscilla experienced the trauma of being abandoned by her clergy husband 20 years ago. "The wife loses her home, her place in the community and she can end up losing her faith too. Some women are very angry, while others are flat on the floor in distress," she says.

She is a founder of Broken Rites, a confidential support service for the separated and divorced wives - not husbands - of priests in the Church of England. "Sisters in distress in the Republic have been in contact with us," she says. Broken Rites' 180 members will vote at their AGM this spring on setting up a group in the Republic and Northern Ireland, where the organisation has already held talks with Church of Ireland and Presbyterian representatives.

Church of Ireland bishops have set aside a fund for separated spouses of clergy to help them move from the rectory to what might be called "civilian" life. Separation is handled sympathetically on a case-by-case basis, with regard for the trauma being experienced by the spouse and children, say Church of Ireland sources. The Presbyterian Church also handles these situations supportively, says Priscilla, but there is no getting away from the fact that even if the wife has her own income, her career progression tends to have been limited by following her husband as he moved from parish to parish.

Because Church of Ireland policy is for spouses and children to leave the rectory about three months after the separation, the loss of home makes the impact of the separation even harder to bear, especially if the priest/husband has caused the break-up by having an affair. Priscilla advises spouses to stay put until someone in the church has given them some financial help in getting suitable accommodation.

In the past, when clergy wives did not work outside the home and parish, they were left homeless with no income, no possibility of purchasing a new home and a future living in what Jane Austen once called "reduced circumstances". Today, church authorities are more supportive, Priscilla says, but it can take some time for the spouse to become financially secure.

Meanwhile, there's emotional fall-out and isolation to cope with. "At the time of the separation, wives have no one to talk to because the parish are all so shocked and too embarrassed to talk about it," says Priscilla. "For a long time I found it difficult to talk to new acquaintances because people don't expect marriages amongst clergy to break down. There's an element of the 'naughty vicar' about it and one feels labelled. You need to be careful who you talk to."

The ordination of women has led to female and male clergy working closely together in situations where they both feel emotionally committed, which puts them at risk of becoming sexually involved even if one or other is married, Priscilla believes.

Some wives remain in bad situations because they don't want their husbands to lose their jobs, she adds. Marriage breakdown alone is not regarded as a resigning issue. Current policy in the Church of Ireland is for each bishop to deal with each case individually, say church sources. Clergy can divorce, remarry in the church and keep their jobs.

Shame, embarrassment and disbelief are felt by the children - especially adult children, who may feel disillusioned, according to Broken Rites' research. "Some of our saddest members are those whose husbands have left them to pursue a gay lifestyle, which is hugely traumatic for the family." Broken Rites also has members whose husbands have physically abused them. In these cases, the organisation encourages the women to seek help from support services for battered wives. But not all members of Broken Rites believe that their husbands were totally at fault. The organisation also receives occasional calls from clergymen who have been left by their wives and while it talks to them and offers advice on where to find help, it does not include men in its support group.

Once in a while, a woman who has had an affair with a married clergyman will seek help. "She might not get my wholehearted sympathy," says Priscilla.

Contact www.brokenrites.org