Moving back to Ireland, so much is different and so much is still the same

I left Ireland in 2018 because that’s what I thought you had to do. I left because I thought there were more career opportunities abroad and I got one: a funded sports science masters and internship at Leicester City Football Club. I was doing what I thought you were supposed to do, leave the nest, leave the home, leave this country, to see if I could stand on my own two feet, to see whether I could make something of myself, to experience the world.

But I didn’t go far, just across the pond. I lived in Leicester for four years. After my internship, I was lucky to get a job there as a strength and conditioning coach in their academy. I’d taken my first step on the career ladder that so many were talking about.

The four years flew by in what felt like an instant; I was head down in work, trying to improve myself, trying to prove myself. My girlfriend (now wife), also from Dublin, moved up to Leicester from London for my final year there, although at the time I didn’t know it would be my final year.

Unaware, I’d let myself get to this place where I didn’t recognise myself. Life was something of a charade. I was able to perform at work, to pretend to be normal, but returning home I felt empty, defeated and drained.

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After a year in Leicester, my wife was moving back to London, and I decided to go with her. I felt like I was starting to take back control over my life. I moved to London with no job lined up, just a hope and belief that something would work out.

Luckily after a few weeks I got a role at Arsenal; the risk paid off. I was back climbing the ladder, living with my wife in a beautiful part of London, life was good. Until it wasn’t. Feelings of old resurfaced, an unhappiness, a lethargy. It felt like my time wasn’t my own, as if life was dictated to me. But the reason wasn’t the environment alone, it was more that I needed to change within me.

So I found performance coaching, a place where you can sit with others through the questions I was wrestling with, and through presence, listening and thoughtful questions, hopefully help another reach their own point of clarity.

We spent another year in London: four years in London, eight years in the UK altogether. And then we felt home calling, to take the next steps, towards finding our own little home, to starting our own little family.

We were of that age now. You go away and then you come back home, like the countless others before us. Was this something we actively chose or something we just felt was the thing you do? Not everyone always comes back. Maybe they find a life that suits them better, or slide into a new sense of normality without questioning if this is what they really want. For those of us returning, do we ask the same question? Or do obligations and unsaid callings influence decisions to come home?

[ The Irish emigrant journey now: Graduate from college, spend 10 years abroad, move homeOpens in new window ]

Like so many of returnees our age, we moved in with parents – my kind and gracious in-laws. Being able to call over to my parents to say hello, to see my brother and sister more regularly, to sit more with my grandparents, means the world. And it reminds me why we made our decision.

But after a year home, there’s still a part that wonders what would life be like if we stayed in London. I think these are thoughts we often have when trying to find our own way. We question and reminisce about the old chapters we closed in life. Nostalgia sets in and we only replay the good times and very little of difficult moments, when we felt lost, alone, unhappy. Our memory tricks us like that, it’s never to be entirely trusted.

Being home now, I see so many people who are leaving Ireland or are still away. Each emigrant has their own reasons. Perhaps it’s something they have to do for themselves, or it’s where their only opportunities lie, or a call to adventure or to find meaning is too loud to be ignored. Or maybe it’s for survival, feeling pushed out or forgotten.

Being back, so much is different and so much is still the same. I stand at the same traffic lights on roads I crossed as a child going to primary school. I look in my grandad’s same knowing and believing eyes, when I don’t quite have that same belief in myself.

We each have our own relationship with this country, our own valid reasons for staying, leaving or returning. The question is whether you can live with your decision.

Charlie Norton Sherwood is from Dublin and returned to Ireland from the UK in 2025, working as a performance coach. Charlienortonsherwood.com

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