Astronaut Chris Hadfield’s wife Helene had to initially take on a lot of the home responsibilities and child rearing to allow her husband pursue his career, he admits.
After all she wasn’t just dealing with a husband who was out of town on business.
She had a husband who was literally off the planet.
And so they took the rather unusual option at holiday time of Chris taking the children away for a fortnight, but not Helene.
“Her vacation would be two weeks at home with no one but her. And she would call them ‘one fork, one plate’”, he explains.
In the latest episode of Conversations with Parents, the father of three tells me how the couple made parenting work for them, even though he concedes he’s not sure if it’s been ‘equitable’.
Working in the armed forces for the majority of his children’s lives meant that Chris was away from his children a significant amount of time.
So, how did he cope?
“Everybody’s away from their children the majority of the time. They go to school. People go to work. And childhood only lasts 18 years. Parents have a big responsibility, but they also need to realise they’re not the only influence in their children’s lives”, he tells me.
With a new Irish granddaughter Chris “couldn’t be more delighted”, and he discusses the excitement and anxiety of awaiting her arrival from a distance.
He explains how he stays connected with his granddaughters, in spite of the distance between them and how space travel has shaped his view of how far away they really are.
Chris sweats the small stuff.
“If I didn’t sweat the small stuff I would be dead”, he explains. “I really try and pay attention to the things that matter. And the things that you can control. But if you can’t control it, then don’t get all worked up about “, he advises.
He describes the power of under-reacting to both seemingly good and bad things in life.
Chris is very aware of the pressure his children felt having a famous astronaut as a father.
“I am visibly successful…when your dad’s an astronaut, it’s pretty clear what your dad does for a living”.
He describes one example of shopping for underwear with his young son and being approached for an autograph and the embarrassment that followed for his child.
And those pressures continue.
“If you’re the child of someone like that, then if you’re successful ‘well of course you’re successful. Your dad’s an astronaut.
And if you’re not successful, it’s like ‘well why aren’t you successful. Your dad’s an astronaut”, he says.
He shares how his adult children have reacted very differently to this.
As a high achiever in life Chris discusses the importance of not “squandering the skills you’re born with and the opportunities that are presented in front of you”.
“How are you going to find joy in life if you don’t discover all the things that you could possibly do?”
He shares what he finds to be the hardest part of parenthood.
And “the great helplessness” that evolves when children move away.
Plus he takes the ‘how well do you know your parenting terms?’ test, allowing us to discover if he’s a high achiever in everything.
And tells us all about his brand new book ‘Final Orbit’.
He even answers my son’s question!
You can listen to this episode of Conversations with Parents on the link above or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Jen Hogan. Produced by Aideen Finnegan.
Brought to you in association with Avonmore Super Milk.
‘Final Orbit’ by Chris Hadfield is published by Quercus and available now in all good bookshops.
