My mother was 26 years old when she received a marriage proposal. Needing time to reflect, she decided to travel to Lourdes in southern France. In making that journey to the shrine of Lourdes, where, in 1858, a young woman called Bernadette Soubirous saw an apparition of the Virgin Mary, my mother was following in the path of millions of pilgrims before her, who had come to the sanctuary in search of spiritual or physical healing.
I never asked her for details about her trip, something I deeply regret now. I probably, to my shame, rolled my eyes in disapproval. The decision to marry is always a huge life choice but in 1958 there would have been a lot at stake for a woman. My mother would have had to sacrifice a career as a teacher, because of the “marriage bar” which, until the 1970s, required women to resign from certain jobs when they married.
Now that she’s gone, the adult me wants to know more about my mother’s thoughts during this trip. How did this little town in the south of France offer clarity to a woman at a pivotal moment in her life?
As the two-year anniversary of her death approaches, I surprise myself by suggesting to my sister that we go there on a four-day break with my mother’s close friend Mary McElroy. Maybe it is another attempt to fill the huge gap she left in my life or maybe I want to try to connect to the young woman in search of answers.
RM Block
Friends and family are amused as I try to explain my motives. I can’t help but feel my “street cred” is tarnished. Of all the mini-breaks on offer, nobody, least of all me, ever thought I’d be packing my bags for a pilgrimage to Lourdes.
After a two-hour Ryanair flight from Dublin we land in Lourdes at 8am on a sunny blue-sky Saturday morning. The town of Lourdes is not what I had expected: I had thought it might be spare and austere-looking. In fact, my first impression is of a pretty French town nestled in the Pyrenees. The Gave de Pau river which runs through it glistens in the morning sun.
Mary is a retired nurse and has been coming to Lourdes for many years to work as a volunteer for people living with disabilities and health challenges, so she knows the ropes. My plan is that we will spend one day as pilgrims and the other three days exploring the surrounding areas. But that all changes once we hit the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes, where St Bernadette saw her visions of the Virgin Mary.
Mary, our Lourdes tour guide, brings us straight to the sanctuary on arrival. She has a list of “must do things” and we follow her to join the queues to touch the rock where it all happened.
However, the best part is sitting in front of the grotto observing the huge crowds, some in a trance as they touch the rock. One woman crawls on her hands and knees, her hands moving all around the rock while volunteers push old and young people with disabilities in wheelchairs. It is mesmerising to watch faith in action.
We then make our way to the baths. I remember my mother talking about being dunked in a bath of ice-cold water said to have healing powers. It is still possible to do this under the guidance of volunteers; however, we opt for the less extreme version. A volunteer ushers us into a small room with a sunken bath. She prays with us and then pours water on our hands. She guides us to wash our hands and faces and drink the water. She then tells us to pray for any intentions. I am desperately looking for some sign from my mother but I feel nothing yet.
There is a daily film on St Bernadette’s life in the information centre at the sanctuary. One can also take part in a walking tour called “Bernadette’s footsteps” which is a chance to discover places familiar to her, including the mill where she was born, the building where she lived with her family at the time of the Apparitions in 1858, the Hospice where she was educated by the Sisters of Nevers, and the parish church where the baptismal font used at her Christening is still visible. The Museum of St Bernadette tells the story of her life through personal objects and artefacts. One can follow the itinerary alone or be accompanied by a tour guide.
There are three stunning basilicas on the site which are definitely worth a visit to see their art and architecture and the outstanding stained-glass windows and mosaics.
We were told that Lourdes was very commercialised. Yes, the streets near the grotto are lined with hotels, restaurants, shops selling rosary beads, statues and holy water bottles. But what might be seen as tacky in another country seems sophisticated in France. Maybe it is due to the charming streets and the effortless elegance of the French vendors.
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There are many ways to explore Lourdes and the surrounding areas, but most grotto visitors take the “Petit Train”. This is a 45-minute tour of all the must-see places in the town itself and gives you a chance to get your bearings. A stop-off point is the 100-year-old funicular which takes tourists on a scenic journey to the Pic du Jer, one of the mountain peaks. At the top a walking trail leads to an observatory with panoramic view of Lourdes and the Pyrenees.
This is the biggest surprise about Lourdes. It’s a perfect base to explore the Pyrenees National Park with its dramatic peaks, alpine lakes, valleys and mountain villages. Some highlights include the Gaube Lake, which you can access with a one-hour hike or a chairlift; Cirque de Gavarnie, a huge national amphitheatre, and one of Europe’s tallest waterfalls.
The Pyrenees are also home to Hautacam, famed as a Tour de France climb, and it so happens that our visit coincides with a group of cyclists from Dublin using Lourdes as a base, spending two nights in the town while taking on mountainous bike rides by day.
Everything about Lourdes is connected to the mountains. Just 3km from the town is the Lac du Lourdes. The 6km walk or bike ride around the lake has stunning views of the mountains. It is also a perfect place to cool down with a swim and water activities such as canoeing or stand-up paddling.
There are lots of restaurants close to the sanctuary. We opt for one near our accommodation, the Café New Orleans. It serves simple traditional French cuisine with friendly waiters and a relaxed ambience.
The food is delicious and the local wine of the region goes down very well. We also treat ourselves to dinner at the Grand Hotel Gallia & Londres. A highlight being its beautiful garden – the perfect venue for a post-dinner cocktail. If exploring the countryside around Lourdes, Au Bon Accueil, about 10km outside the town, offers a really good outdoor eating area. It is known for its sumptuous desserts. Cantine Lo Vetere, an Italian restaurant approximately 5-10 kms outside the town, is also worth a visit.
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For diehard foodies, The Halles de Lourdes, with its beautiful architecture, is a must. Here producers and traders are happy to invite tourists to sample all of the food products including the famous local speciality: Tomme des Pyrénées cheese.
One of the highlights for me is the nightly candlelit procession. Every evening at 9pm, from April to October, thousands of pilgrims gather to walk and sing hymns carrying a lighted candle. The Hail Mary is recited and the Ave Maria sung in different languages. It is hard to remain unmoved.
When my mother Kathleen returned from Lourdes all those years ago, she accepted the marriage proposal. She married my father Donie on August 14th, 1958. They were together for 65 years until she passed away on July 14th, 2023. Our heartbroken father followed her 11 months later, on June 5th, 2024.
I don’t know what I was expecting to find in Lourdes ... a sense of peace, solace from grief, some kind of spiritual awakening perhaps. As I write this on the second anniversary of my mother’s death I am reflecting on what I did find. I realise that I need to nurture relationships with the people who are still with us, who knew and loved her. In spending time with them, a part of her will always be alive.
How to get there
We paid €296 for a return flight from Dublin with Ryanair in July 2025. Holidays to Lourdes can also be organised by Abbey Travel (Abbeytravel.ie). Pilgrimages are organised by Joe Walsh Tours (joewalshtours.ie) and Barter’s Travelnet (travelnet.ie)
