Modern Manners

This week: talking tech

Your friend just got a new job at [insert start-up or multinational group here] and now is a tech expert. Like your hipster friends, tech experts should be treated with irreverence. They are saving the world one gigabyte at a time didn’t you know, so have some respect.

Since becoming a tech expert, your friend’s hobbies may have changed somewhat. While you might equate their fondness for gadgets to your sister’s obsession with One Direction – both are willing to queue for an absurdly long time to witness them firsthand – be supportive. Actually, maybe you could introduce them? They could swap tips for tent set-ups and bathroom procedures.

Never ask a tech expert if they would like to go shopping unless you mean whiling away hours together online. Not only is shopping in a bricks and mortar environment utterly foreign to a tech expert, it is also offensive to their progressive view on life. Given their aversion to euros you may have to spot them a pint too – what kind of pub won’t accept bitcoins?

Manners Illustration Getty Images
Manners Illustration Getty Images

Understanding a tech expert since they’ve embraced their new vocabulary and totally awesome garbled accent may be difficult but do persevere. The last time you checked a dog wasn’t “cutting-edge”, a bike wasn’t for “connectness” and a cortado wasn’t “innovative” – but then again there are no beanbags in your office so how would you really know?

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Rachel Murphy