The lengths to which Damien Duff went to watch his Shelbourne side take on Bohemians at Dalymount Park on Friday produced, without doubt, the football gaffer photo of the week.
Suspended for the game after picking up his fifth caution of the season against St Patrick’s Athletic the previous Friday, Duff was spotted lurking on the bank behind one of the goals keeping an eye on proceedings.
Shels fans, of course, can oft be heard singing, to the tune of Zombie, “in your head, in your head, Duffer, Duffer...” in a salute to their manager’s ability to, well, outfox rivals, so, naturally enough, Bohs fans adapted the ditty on Friday. “In your hedge, in your hedge, Duffer, Duffer...” Quality.
Pondering the big questions
You know this thing that’s doing the rounds this weather, people being asked who would win a fight between 100 men and one gorilla? Well, most respondents just give it a second’s thought, pick their an answer and they’re done with it. Not Jack Grealish, though.
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Duffer lurking in the long grass while Bohemians hit the right note
“One hundred men for sure. It’s been a big debate, hasn’t it? People speak about it at training and stuff. I think 100 men, easy. I typed it in, they only weigh like 250kg, that’s like two Tyson Furys. So it’s not even that much.”
“I ain’t being one of the first 10, they just take a hit for the team. But then after that I actually reckon 50 men will beat a gorilla. Obviously you’ve got to have decent sized lads to go in there. I’d take Erling [Haaland], Scott Carson, Ruben Dias. If we all went in then I reckon even 50 men will beat the gorilla – 25 of us, I reckon.”
“You put one gorilla in a changing room, I reckon we’d do him. I swear. I’m not even bantering. You just throw the younger lads in first, Phil [Foden] and Rico [Lewis], and then all the big dogs going in later. Yeah.”
This might be why he didn’t come off the bench for Saturday’s FA Cup final. He was exhausted from all the thinking.
Facts and figures
Quiz question, what’s this: “WLLWDLDWLDWDWLLWLLLDWLWLLDWDWLDLLDLLL”? With thanks to the Squawka people, that’s Manchester United’s sequence of Premier League results this season. A history-making one too. “For the first time, the club will end a season without stringing two wins in a row together in the Premier League.”
And from the OptaJoe folk: “Ruben Amorim has won 24 points in 26 Premier League games, a points per game ratio of 0.92. This is lower than Paul Jewell’s Premier League points per game (0.94), who managed 24 winless games at Derby when they finished on 11 points in 2007-08.”
The Sunday Times Rich List showed that United’s co-owner Jim Ratcliffe is worth £17.046 billion (down £6.473bn – but he won’t starve). You sense he’ll need to invest the entire amount in new players this summer to turn things around.
QUOTE
“I will go to Cork and stay three days there, looking at training and learning a bit about the people – who they say are a little bit different.” – Whether the rebels take this as a compliment or not from Heimir Hallgrímsson, who knows – but they probably do.
NUMBER: 17
If he signs the new contract David Moyes said he would be offered, that’s how many seasons Séamus Coleman will have been with Everton. That works out as just over £3,500 a year, based on what Sligo Rovers were paid for him. Some bargain.
WORD OF MOUTH
“Sportsmanship is dead and gone, it’s with O’Leary in the grave.” – St Pat’s manager Stephen Kenny going all Yeats on us when talking about his annoyance with Bohs and Shels for not putting the ball out of play when he had players down injured.
“If Ferguson was coaching right now he would probably end up in jail. Do you know how many players I saw cry because he gave them the hairdryer, throwing boots? He was evil.” – Apart from that, Patrice Evra enjoyed his time playing for Alex.
“I come from clubs where I’m not used to losing.” – Noussair Mazraoui, ex Ajax and Bayern Munich player, having a whole new experience at Manchester United this season.
“You didn’t deserve that. Disgrace.” – Pep Guardiola taking that FA Cup defeat well when he had words with Crystal Palace goalkeeper Dean Henderson at full-time on Saturday. With thanks to the Daily Mail’s lip-reader.
