The Ronaldo diet
Considering the shape Cristiano Ronaldo is in, at the rusty old age of 38, it’s not surprising at all that other footballers are tempted to copy his fitness regime and, especially, his diet.
Even though Brazilian midfielder Gabriel Menino, who plays with Palmeiras, is just 22 and was already in decent nick, he decided to do just that.
“I called the Palmeiras nutritionist and asked her to make me a Cristiano Ronaldo diet. I wanted to look like Cristiano Ronaldo. The diet was like this: Breakfast was an egg and supplement. Pre-workout was a supplement, lunch could be grilled and salad. For dinner, grilled meat and salad, and before going to bed another supplement. That was it.”
After starting his Ronaldo diet, he lined out for Palmeiras in their match against America-MG. How did it go?
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“Five minutes in to the game, I couldn’t run anymore, I needed to be substituted. I just thought, ‘I’m going to die.’”
Not great.
So, Ronald’s diet isn’t for everyone. Although some players are still willing to give it a go. As Birmingham City’s Troy Deeney put it, “if I saw Ronaldo eating horse shit for a pre-match meal, I’d eat horse shit too.”
Quote of the week
Richarlison on Wednesday: “This season, excuse the word, it’s been shit.”
Antonio Conte on Friday: “He said his season was shit - and he’s right.”
Ouch.
Number of the week
2.58 - That’s how many million viewers tuned in to that rather odd Match of the Day on Saturday night …. up from the 2.09 million who watched the week before.
Word of mouth
“Happy that this ridiculously out of proportion story seems to be abating and very much looking forward to presenting Match of the Day on Saturday.” Gary Lineker ….. on Thursday.
“If Saka already costs £100 million at 21 years old and he carries on developing at the rate he is now, how much will he be in five years? £300 or £400 million? Come on, come on. This is getting ridiculous.” Arsenal old-boy William Gallas politely requesting that everyone calm down about Bukayo Saka.
“I must have been talking to his twin brother for the past 15 months.” Brendan Rodgers somewhat disputing Jannik Vestergaard’s claim that the Leicester boss never explained to him why he isn’t being picked this season.
“If you win in football you celebrate. If you want passion and emotion there is nothing better than scoring goals and winning football matches. So if not, you go to church.” Mikel Arteta on criticism of the celebrations that followed Arsenal’s 97th-minute winner against Bournemouth last week.
“I am ready to die for this club but, at the end of the day, I will not be stupid enough to kill myself.” Spurs’ Antonio Conte with a bit of a mixed message for his club on the lengths he’s prepared to go to for them.
“You scored 18 goals or 16 assists this year - against Angers and Clermont! But in the matches that matter, you disappear! PSG fell at his feet because they thought Messi was going to make us win the Champions League. But he doesn’t win us anything.” Who did former PSG winger Jerome Rothen blame for the club’s Champions League exit last week? Yep.
“Nagelsmann is touched by God, with barely any experience finds himself leading one of the biggest clubs in Europe. I come from pitches made of dirt and mud, it was a long journey.” Lazio coach Maurizio Sarri telling Bayern Munich gaffer Julian he’s had it easy.
Erling’s puzzle
It was an eagle-eyed Ella Brockway of the Washington Post who drew attention last week to Erling Haaland’s rather unusual marking of International Women’s Day on his Instagram account.
“This is for all my female fans on this special day! Here’s my message to each one of you. Can you find it in this crossword puzzle?”
It was actually a word-search type thingie that he posted, so it wasn’t easy at all to find his message. The guesses included “you better make eel call”, “my rout call make world”, “my place or out” and “rout fuv hyke ruvk”.
Finally, success: “You all make the world a much better place.”
Ah, bless his lengthy socks.