When the Dáil reconvened on Tuesday afternoon this week, observant TDs and some eagle-eyed hacks above on the press gallery noticed a new addition to the technical accoutrements already cluttering up the Ceann Comhairle’s substantial desk.
It was another computer screen – this time, a dinky silver iPad mounted on a little swivelly arm to her right, at just about eye-level height.
And they noticed how, every so often, the Ceann would stick on her reading glasses and stare intently at the screen. Then they noticed she was doing this whenever a deputy – well, Taoiseach Micheál Martin in particular – began speaking in Irish.
“Have you seen Verona putting on the Google goggles?” messaged an Opposition TD. “She’s getting a simultaneous translation on the iPad.”
They seek him here. They seek him there. The Wexford Pimpernel James Browne
Verona Murphy is swinging her mallet in the Dáil like Wexford’s answer to Thor
It took a while for Mary Lou to register Micheál’s comment, then SF began to spontaneously combust
Danny Healy-Rae a lonely figure as Roaring Independents split
An interesting development on the day before the Dáil was about to hold its first ever debate on Artificial Intelligence (AI).
It begged one of the two biggest questions of the week – was the service being supplied by advanced tech software or was there a civil servant with steam coming out of their ears incarcerated with a laptop in some Leinster House cubby-hole, belting out a simultaneous translation while the Taoiseach held forth as gaeilge?
Anyway, Verona Murphy won’t have to rely on her Google goggles for much longer
We hear a discreet earpiece is undergoing final tests in a Kildare Street bunker and the Ceann Comhairle should have it by next week.
The presidency and the dog lover’s tale
We said there were two big questions this week.
The other one was: which party asked singer Linda Martin to run for the presidency?
The Eurovision winner told Oliver Callan on Wednesday morning that she has been approached by one of the parties about the Phoenix Park gig.
“Is that the case?” asked Oliver, agog.
“I’m saying nothing at all,” said Linda, going very coy all of a sudden. “That’s all I’m saying. You’ll have to wait and see now.”
“But you’re seriously considering this?”
“Let’s just say, I’m mulling over it.”
Oliver hasn’t forgotten his days as a humble news reporter. He could sense a good yarn here.
“As an Independent or with a party?”
“Oh, a party, I think.”
“A party? Which party is it?”
“Eh, I can’t say that … I was approached, sounds bizarre, but sure...”
Animal campaigner Linda left the idea hanging while getting in some valuable plugs for all the lovely dogs in her care who need new homes.
Dog lover Linda for Pawsident?
Back in Leinster House, the political parties professed to having no knowledge of the singer’s claims.
“I think she’s spoofing,” said a Government source. “But I am most definitely not saying Linda is ag insint breága. She’s a legend.”
Time will tell.
This is only the beginning. There will be a lot more speculation and many more names thrown into the hat before the race for the Áras begins in earnest later this year.
This, that and the Udders
The Dáil seating row rumbles on with the Opposition still seething over attempts to shoehorn special speaking arrangements into the Dáil schedule for the small group of deputies who actively participated in the programme for government negotiations and came away with ministerial positions for some and nod-‘n’-wink reciprocations for the rest.
The non-ministerial rump of this nailed-on group of Government enablers, headed by Michael Lowry, are insisting on the right to speak on Opposition time despite openly pledging to support the Coalition.
They say they are not Government members and will not speak on Government time. The Opposition is refusing to entertain these Coalition interlopers.
Now the Chief Whip, Mary Butler, proposes that they go into a special group of affiliation-fluid TDs called The Udders.
This group has clearly been readied up for the purpose of looking after the three Regional Independent TDs (Lowry, Barry Heneghan and the rarely heard Gillian Toole) and Danny Healy-Rae. They are like loose horses at the Grand National, charging this way and that and too precious to upset. They are joined by Mattie McGrath and Carol Nolan.
The latest wheeze to appease was the suggestion that they be afforded special tailored speaking slots called “Other Members Questions”.
OMQs?
OMG!
The five main Opposition leaders rushed out a joint letter rejecting the move. They are calling themselves the Combined Opposition Parties.
And The Udders, who support the Government, do not belong on the COP end.
It’s difficult to see how this impasse can be resolved next week short of the Government using its majority to railroad something through for The Udders.
That would spark fury again.
On Tuesday, for example, Danny Healy-Rae couldn’t resist heckling Labour leader Ivana Bacik when she asked about housing policy during Leaders’ Questions. He was sitting in one of the unallocated seats, in the area where he used to sit with his brother during the last government. For voting purposes, he has to move to a seat with the rest of Regional Independent Udders in a different section.
The Ceann Comhairle told Danny to pipe down.
Ivana looked over at him and waved her arm across the floor towards the Government benches.
“You should sit over there,” she shouted. “You should sit over there!”
In the roaring that followed, Michael Healy-Rae’s voice cut though.
“How dare you say that,” cried Minister Healy-Rae, looking straight across at his brother Danny from his seat in the last section to the left of the Ceann Comhairle’s chair. Danny sits in the corresponding section to the far right of the Chair. Michael is two seats in. And so is Danny on his side.
Both in Opposition and Government, apparently.
The following day, Danny had more to say on housing during Policy Questions.
“I’m absolutely delighted today with the news today that you are planning to exempt cabin-style units at the back of family homes. This is a wonderful idea. I have been, and indeed my brother Michael has been, looking for this for many years and never more so than now. It’s a great idea and I thank ye, the Government. This is a real attempt at housing people that can happen very quickly.”
Of course, many people outside Leinster House ask why the Coalition won’t offer some of its speaking time to The Udders.
The ones without the big jobs don’t want to sit on the Government side – as the Greens did when they supported the last administration. While representatives of the Government have been wearing themselves out across the airwaves saying they have little enough time for speaking as it is.
Which is odd, given the amount of times they don’t show up for speaking slots in the Dáil.
Dáil’s human intelligence on display
The first Dáil debate on AI was a lively and engaging one.
It was preceded by a heated exchange (appropriately enough) the day before on data centres between the Taoiseach and Paul Murphy. The People Before Profit TD accused him of putting “big tech profits, the same companies that fuel hate for profit, before our children’s future”.
Micheál Martin remarked that the Dublin South-West TD was “as prolific a user of the services provided by data centres as anybody else is - probably more so”.
Fianna Fáil’s Malcolm Byrne, who has been calling for debate on the implications of the AI revolution for long before the Dáil cottoned on, echoed that sentiment.
“This soundbite will be on X later. Watch it.”
And it was. Paul in the Dáil was up on social media in no time.
During the AI debate, Regional Independent Barry Heneghan – the youngest of The Udders - also took issue with deputy Murphy using his “fake outrage for his little clip online about how he is annoyed that big tech will dominate this industry. As a recently qualified mechanical engineer who did my thesis on data centres and the waste heat potential they have, that is absolute codswallop.”
But Gary Gannon of the Social Democrats was unimpressed. “It’s almost as if you can’t talk about regulation if somehow you have a social media account. What a bizarre, banal, boring analysis of the situation.”
He used Bertie Ahern to bolster his argument. This approach is like “saying you aren’t allowed talk about banking regulation if you have a bank account. The only person I remember in the chamber who could meet that standard was the former leader of Fianna Fáil. What a weird analogy.”
Meanwhile, Paul Gogarty of the Independent Technical Group, made a grand little contribution although it was uncharacteristically stilted and wishy-washy for him. He began “Honourable Members of Dáil Eireann, we stand at the dawn of a transformative age, one driven by the power of artificial intelligence...”
And he closed with: “On a point of information, this speech was entirely written by AI, for better or worse, with parameters I set. It is important we have a little bit of control over it.”
Micheál Martin and the matter that won’t lie
And back we go to Bréagagate for what might or might not be the final word on the Dáil controversy over whether or not the Taoiseach called Mary Lou McDonald a liar as gaeilge.
When this alleged used of unparliamentary language occurred in the chamber last week, Sinn Féin were slow to react.
But the independent TD for Galway, Catherine Connolly, the former Leas Cheann Comhairle, who is a passionate Gaeilgeoir, did a double-take immediately when Micheál Martin accused Mary Lou of “ag insint bréaga”.
This, she explained to us, was because what the Taoiseach said is grammatically incorrect and the words grated as soon as she heard them.
Now. Pay attention down the back.
The word Bréag, you see, is a feminine noun and you work from there. If you are telling one, singular, lie, it’s “ag insint bréige”. This is where the famous Tuiseal Ginideach comes in.
But c’mere. The plural is bréaga, but when you go to the Tuiseal Ginideach plural (which is iolra, as opposed to uatha) then “telling lies” becomes “ag insint bréag”.
And there you have it.
“It occurred to me the moment he said it,” Catherine told us in the Dáil canteen, attempting to explain by laying tea bags on the counter.
Think of a boat, “bád”, and the plural, which is “báid”. But when we talk of the gathering of the boats in Kinvara we say “Cruinniú na mbád”.
Something like that.
Anyway, the Dáil record, which routinely cleans up what TDs say, clearly agrees with Catherine Connolly as the Taoiseach’s “bréaga” (lies) was corrected to “bréag” (lies) on the day of his disputed utterance.
So did he mean Mary Lou was telling a lie or telling lies?
Hope that clears everything up.
I’m going for a long lie down now.
