Here we are again.
A new political year. A new administration. A new Dáil.
It will be a government of five parts: Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael, the Regional Independents, the Healy-Raegional Independents and a unique, brass-necked, Lanigan’s Ball wing.
The 34th Dáil hasn’t even reconvened – and there’s ructions.
Miriam Lord’s review of the year: Shock resignations, ruptured relations and an over-eager new Taoiseach
Miriam Lord: A fitting farewell to Dickie Rock as ‘king of Cabra’ gets full house for his final gig
Gift-wrapped Simon Harris switches on Dáil Christmas tree lights in glow of peace and harmony
Joy is a word Conor McGregor returns to again and again. Nikita Hand paints a much darker picture
FF and FG TDs hoping for ministerial preferment are falling over each other to get noticed at the eleventh hour.
Not a word has been spoken in the chamber yet, and freshly installed Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy is already on the horns of a dilemma.
Four Regional Independent Group (RIG) members and Raegionals, having very publicly signed up to support the government, shocked their new coalition colleagues days later when they came out and openly identified as members of the opposition, demanding to share its Dáil space.
As a result, the season will officially kick off on Wednesday with a seething Opposition and a big row over speaking time in prospect. Not according to Fianna Fáil Minister of State Thomas Byrne, however, who appears to have the inside track. He stated categorically on Claire Byrne’s radio show on Friday: “I can guarantee you it will be not an issue next week”.
It’s been a lively lead-in to whatever comes next.
This bodes well for the next five years.
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Mammy, how did we get here?
Well, when two big political parties love each other very much, they sometimes decide to have little baby parties so they can all live happily ever after until the Dáil runs its full term and completes the five-year budgetary cycle…
Nice, placid little baby parties who shut up at the sight of a sugar-coated soother and only cry to impress the constituents.
That’s what Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael really wanted. They had a difficult time before with the Greens. This time, they think they’ve got it.
It was very much a planned delivery. Everything fell into place with suspicious ease.
There was the usual puffing and panting and wailing and mini-false alarms and supposed complications before a big bouncing deal was delivered safely by Michael Lowry to the joy of returning government leaders Micheál Martin and Simon Harris.
That would be Michael Lowry TD, who was accused of “profoundly corrupt” behaviour when he was a government minister, in the report of the Moriarty tribunal. The two main parties, rightly, shunned him afterwards, and the Dáil called on him to resign. He ignored the Dáil.
And now, decades on, he is cock-of-the-walk in the corridors again.
The Dealmaker.
Micheál and Simon’s Enabler-in-Chief. Smoothing the path to comfortable power for the rotating taoiseach, tánaiste and their parties and banking a tidy payback for his own political grouping in return. And that, it dispiritingly appears, is all that matters.
One of Lowry’s first moves after successfully negotiating an inside track in government for members of the RIG was to seek opposition speaking rights for himself and those colleagues, including Danny of the Healy-Reagionals, who didn’t bag ministerial jobs.
They are the Lanigan’s Ball wing.
Also in the Shroeder’s Deputies mix along with Lowry and Healy-Rae (are they in or are they out) is Meath’s Gillian Toole and Dublin Bay North’s Barry Heneghan.
Young Heneghan has, reportedly, landed himself a plum job as assistant government whip. According to the Oireachtas website, the position comes with an additional allowance of €17,191 on top of the basic TD’s salary of €113,679.
Not bad for a 26-year-old currently living at home with his parents. Would he give that up for the chance to fire an occasional angry question across the floor at colleagues he has pledged to keep in government?
This little cluster of cakeists want to be in the government’s pocket with attendant benefits and out of it with shouting rights when it suits them to pretend they are not.
If Lowry can swing this too it will require legislation to have these pocket politicians installed.
Not to mention the blessing of Verona Murphy, who landed the plum role of Ceann Comhairle as part of the deal. She was a Regional Independent before ascending the Chair. Now she is required to be scrupulously independent.
Opposition deputies – and many less-than-impressed government TDs – are watching closely to see how Verona handles this. They say the credibility of the chair is at stake.
The tortured arguments of Fianna Fáil’s Niall Collins, rolled out on RTÉ’s Drivetime to defend the mooted move against strong opposition from a gobsmacked Richard Boyd-Barrett of People Before Profit and an equally flabbergasted Duncan Smith of Labour, was one of the entertainment highlights of the political week.
“This conversation is actually farcical,” declared Niall at one point, seemingly unaware that he was blowing his own trumpet.
Maybe the wheeze will be abandoned, but on Friday, there was no sign of anyone backing down.
Perhaps they can be persuaded before Wednesday, and Thomas “this will not be an issue next week” Byrne will be right.
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The aforementioned Barry Heneghan has made quite the impact in his early days as a new TD.
His remarks about the Moriarty tribunal – a hugely significant event in Irish political and corporate history – being “a waste of taxpayers’ money” dismayed many political observers already appalled by the notion of Lowry, a disgraced former Fine Gael minister and one of the key figures in the tribunal, being welcomed as a government kingmaker by the taoiseach and tánaiste.
Heneghan explained on Virgin Media’s Ireland AM: “I have to say, the whole issue of Michael Lowry happened two years before I was born. I think there’s been a lot of waste of taxpayers’ money going into it since… I think it came out at a very sensitive time – people really need to look into that.”
It may be ancient history, but Barry really needs to look into that. Justine McCarthy’s latest column would be a start.
“Do you think it was waste to see if there was corruption at the highest levels of government?” asked presenter Muireann O’Connell.
“Well listen, at this stage now do you not think we should just keep going on and think about what I care about, which is going forward, disability, mental health,” he replied, sticking very much to the present.
Barry has important constituency issues to raise and he thought Deputy Lowry was “very firm in negotiations”, and that this will ultimately benefit the constituency.
“Listen, I’m an Independent. I don’t get to choose who I work with. I work with everyone from every single side for a better Ireland.”
One to watch.
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The big winner during the government-formation talks was Bambino’s Pizza on the corner of Merrion Street and Merrion Row. The small restaurant was the only place open nearby as the negotiations often went on late into the night and over weekends.
It was the Christmas and New Year period, so normal facilities were not available.
“The catering operation in Leinster House and Government Buildings had closed down and even the local Spar was closed at one stage. People were pretty much locked into the building with talks in the Sycamore room and adjoining offices. All we ate was pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza,” revealed one participant, who has sworn off pepperoni for life.
When the issue of sports funding and facilities came up in the programme for government talks, Fine Gael negotiator Jennifer Carroll MacNeill was very engaged with the subject. The TD for Dún Laoghaire, who is hotly tipped for a senior ministerial position next week, is married to former Irish rugby international Hugo MacNeill.
At one point she informed the team from the Regional/Raegional Independents that “they even play rugby in Carlow now”.
Even her own colleagues had to smile.
Being picked for a negotiating team is a big deal and can lead to future promotion. It might explain the battle for supremacy between Fianna Fáil’s Mary Butler and Fine Gael’s John Cummins, both from Waterford. If one spoke, the other had to have their say.
It was being described by some as “the battle of the Deise”.
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And what about the Healy-Raes? Finally taking the metaphorical government shilling?
Well, for a start, while Michael may be the brother who has landed the junior ministry, he will not be on his own. He will be making history as the Dáil’s first BOGOF ministerial appointment.
By buying into Michael Healy-Rae, Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael get his brother Danny for free. In all his interviews since news broke of the government agreement, Michael has stressed that getting the job was a joint effort on the family’s part, with Danny displaying negotiating skills of international standard.
(Mind you, by returning more of the same after November’s general election, the electorate opted for a BOGOF taoiseach too.)
In a double-hander with Radio Kerry’s Jerry O’Sullivan on Thursday, the brothers both referred to working in government now, even if Danny wants this to come with the added bonus of being able to bark questions at that same government as if he is still a normal member of the opposition.
He admitted that being on the inside requires making some sacrifices, not least having to go along with the carbon tax when he is an avowed climate change denier. “I will be maintaining my view all the time but like, I do realise that in government you have to maybe go against some of your own ideas in order to get more,” he said.
Not that they are getting a special deal for Kerry, insisted Michael, as he confirmed “our projects are being advanced”.
“So a deal has been done,” said O’Sullivan.
“I never used the word deal,” shot back Michael. “We went up to Dublin, we put our cards on the table…”
It was written in invisible ink, like the others.
We hear that during negotiations, Danny asked the two leaders whether they are “still going ahead with this climate change schtuff?”
“Yes.”
The Healy-Raes were very gracious, thanking everyone who helped them to get where they are today.
But Danny topped everything, ending their radio interview by paying tribute to “the midwife that delivered me in Kenmare Hospital”.
He was speaking after Patricia Keating’s funeral, thanking her for “the great work that she did in Kenmare and Killarney all her life”.
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