Updated BMW M2: adorable, fun and ludicrously powerful

What’s 20hp between friends? Well, it’s enough of an excuse for us to nab the latest, updated BMW M2 coupe for a spin.

BMW has been quietly upgrading the power outputs of its ultra-sporty M models recently. The M4 coupe and M3 saloon – the ones with the massive nostrils – have been given a 20hp boost too, bringing them to 530hp in standard form, and 550hp in harder-hitting, limited-edition CS form.

So, to keep it happy, the littlest member of the M family had to be given the same upgrade, sort of like everyone moving up one bike as the eldest child gets a new one. The M2 uses basically the same 3.0-litre straight-six petrol engine, with twin monoscroll turbochargers, as the M3 and M4, but previously it had a “mere” 460hp.

I generally believe that anything over 400hp is well and truly wasted in a road-going car, but BMW has chosen to – not for the first time – ignore my advice and has given the M2 that same 20hp update, taking it to 480hp.

Electric vehicle Q&A: Which EV charging point apps do I need?

Mazda CX-80 review: Style to spare, but substance still lagging

Electric vehicle Q&A: What if I can’t charge at home?

Which is a curiously unround figure, and it would lead you to assume that the incoming harder-edged M2 CS will have a nice, neat 500hp. Not so, apparently – the CS will have more like 525hp. Ah well, so much for symmetry.

Symmetry is exactly what occurs to you when you first approach the M2, though, in the sense that this car appears to be as wide as it is long.

The M2’s wheel arches, extended by 40mm compared with the standard 2 Series Coupe, give the M2 a “hench” appearance that makes it look as if it’s been pounding weights at the gym and chugging back creatine milkshakes.

It’s hardly a pretty car (those big, square, air intakes in the bottom of the front bumper are awful), but it has a cartoonish appeal, and looks as if someone has spray-painted a racing car in BMW’s optional Skyscraper Grey Metallic paint.

Of course, one of the most appealing things about the M2 is that it’s not a skyscraper at all. I’ve yet to drive a BMW SUV wearing an M-badge that was anything other than irritatingly compromised – proper M cars have roofs that come no higher than your chest, as this little coupe proves.

Actually, hang on. Little? The M2 is 4.5m long, and weighs as much as 1,820kg, so it’s no flyweight. It’s just that in a world of bloated SUVs, this two-door coupe seems diminutive, as if you could pick it up off the ground, turn it over, and find the words “Hot Wheels” printed on the bottom of the chassis. It is, in a word, adorable.

It is also ludicrously powerful. An engine with 480hp, and the concomitant 600Nm of torque, would once have been all-but-undriveable on public roads.

But thanks to BMW’s use of variable valve and camshaft timing, not only can this engine shriek and scream like a thoroughbred race car at 7,200rpm, it can also smoothly and easily pull from low revs in traffic with nary an issue.

That said, BMW has decided – and it has to have been a conscious decision – not to allow you to forget that this engine has a racing pedigree. Quite apart from the little button that allows you to make the exhaust louder (go on, press it …) the eight-speed Steptronic gearbox seems to have been programmed to clunk and clank at every opportunity, to make pulling away from the lights like pulling out of the pit lane. It could be irritating, but there’s a playful pantomime nature to it that proves – that word again – adorable.

It’s little touches such as this which make the M2 fun at sane, legal speeds. To be honest, a car with this much dynamic ability and this much power can only have its surface lightly scratched at legal speeds.

Honestly, you need to do regular track days if you’re going to fully exploit this car, at which point the €115,723 base price comes hoving into view.

That’s a lot of asset to be putting on the line amid other weekend racers, especially when you could have much of the performance and most of the dynamic nous in the shape of the €79,875, 374hp M240i (a brilliant car).

So it’s good, then, that the M2’s fulsome steering (accessed through a deliciously suede-wrapped steering wheel) and playful chassis balance mean you can enjoy it without being legally or morally corrupted.

This is the last remaining M-car, in right-hand drive markets at any rate, that comes with both rear-wheel drive only (you can lock the M3, M4, and M5 into rear-drive, but they’re normally four-wheel drive) and the option of a manual gearbox (you can get a manual M3 in Germany, and it’s lovely, but it’s not available here).

That gives the M2 a sense of purity that’s become somewhat absent from the other M-cars, which have become progressively more luxurious and remote in their responses. The M2 still feels just a touch unhinged, which is exactly what it should be.

Usable? Sort of. The back seats are pretty small, so expect complaints from anyone over the age of 12, and the boot – 390 litres and a touch shallow – is usable but only just.

None of which actually matters, and nor, truth be told, do the updates to the M2’s in-car software and the new graphics on its massive touchscreen. If only there were a digital detox option that gave you back analogue dials and just enough connectivity to listen to a podcast or two.

What matters is that this muscular, wound-up little coupe has more power than a 1970s F1 car, more poise than you can legally exploit, and more character than a travelling theatre company.

It’s fun, it’s explosively fast, it makes some wonderful noises, and with the clunky and clanky transmission, you can easily imagine that a pop to the shops is a hot lap of Le Mans. It’s not a car you need, but it is one that you will crave.