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He says he doesn’t want a relationship so why is he acting like he does?

He says he doesn’t want a relationship so why is he acting like he does?

Ask Roe: I told him we should stop having sex if he doesn’t want to be with me but we’re already flirting again

Sun Jun 26 2022 - 06:00
I respectfully ended a relationship a year ago - so why is my ex still so angry?

I respectfully ended a relationship a year ago - so why is my ex still so angry?

Dear Roe: I didn’t do anything wrong in our relationship but I feel like I’m being punished

Sun Jun 19 2022 - 06:00
My boyfriend completely shuts down emotionally, and I don’t know how to help

My boyfriend completely shuts down emotionally, and I don’t know how to help

Ask Roe: Putting his head in the sand is his modus operandi, and it’s starting to wear me down

Sun Jun 12 2022 - 06:00
My ex broke up with me 10 years ago but I still think about him every day

My ex broke up with me 10 years ago but I still think about him every day

Dear Roe: I am getting married soon and I feel guilty and ashamed about these thoughts

Sun Jun 05 2022 - 06:01
I’ve wanted to leave my husband for years, so why can’t I just go?

I’ve wanted to leave my husband for years, so why can’t I just go?

Ask Roe: We have been together all my adult life. I am terrified to step over the cliff edge

Sun May 29 2022 - 06:01
My brother has returned to his abusive wife and I’m worn out

My brother has returned to his abusive wife and I’m worn out

Ask Roe: I thought that after years of heartache he was finally going to break free

Sun May 22 2022 - 06:01
I love my boyfriend but I’ve only had two orgasms in two years

I love my boyfriend but I’ve only had two orgasms in two years

Ask Roe: The ability to discuss changing sexual needs is a necessary part of a healthy long-term relationship

Sun May 15 2022 - 06:01
‘My girlfriend wants me to bring myself to orgasm during sex’

‘My girlfriend wants me to bring myself to orgasm during sex’

Ask Roe: Clear, open and gentle communication is going to be key to addressing this

Sun May 08 2022 - 06:01
‘Cheating has caused my entire friend group to fall out’

‘Cheating has caused my entire friend group to fall out’

Ask Roe: ‘We have been friends for years and I’m trying to find a way to salvage this’

Sun May 01 2022 - 06:01
My boyfriend refuses to help around our home, but says he will step up when we are married

My boyfriend refuses to help around our home, but says he will step up when we are married

Ask Roe: Do not get engaged and stay on birth control. He sees your time as less important than his

Sun Apr 24 2022 - 05:00
‘I need constant reassurance from my girlfriend – and it’s pushing her away’

‘I need constant reassurance from my girlfriend – and it’s pushing her away’

Ask Roe: ‘You’re in a safe and loving relationship but you’re afraid it could disappear any moment’

Sun Apr 17 2022 - 05:00
My girlfriend refuses to live with furniture I shared with my ex-wife

My girlfriend refuses to live with furniture I shared with my ex-wife

Ask Roe: When couples move in together it is important to discuss how to make it feel like home for both of you

Sun Apr 10 2022 - 06:00
My husband and I are stuck in a cycle of cheating and revenge

My husband and I are stuck in a cycle of cheating and revenge

Ask Roe: You need to ask yourself: what am I fighting for, what am I staying for, and what do I actually want?

Sun Apr 03 2022 - 05:00

Yes, the questions are real! How our advice columnists answer your queries

Roe McDermott, John Sharry and Trish Murphy explain how they respond to your sex, relationship and parenting problems

Sat Apr 02 2022 - 01:56
Our 20-year relationship is sexless. I feel I will never have a normal intimate life

Our 20-year relationship is sexless. I feel I will never have a normal intimate life

I do not bring it up often because I do not want to pester her. She takes this as acceptance

Sun Mar 27 2022 - 05:00
My ex left me because he was bored. I thought we were comfortable

My ex left me because he was bored. I thought we were comfortable

Ask Roe: It floored me when he said ‘we were both stuck’ – not happy and committed as I thought

Sun Mar 20 2022 - 05:00
I’m happily married but jealous of my wife’s adventurous past

I’m happily married but jealous of my wife’s adventurous past

Ask Roe: You can’t change the past, but you can choose to enrich your present life

Sun Mar 13 2022 - 05:00
I told my boyfriend I was ready for an open relationship. It turns out I’m not

I told my boyfriend I was ready for an open relationship. It turns out I’m not

Ask Roe: You are reacting differently than you expected. This isn’t deceptive. It’s human

Sun Mar 06 2022 - 05:00
‘My new girlfriend won’t talk about her exes. I worry she still loves one of them’

‘My new girlfriend won’t talk about her exes. I worry she still loves one of them’

Ask Roe: ‘Surely if she was over them, they could be a causal conversation topic?’

Sun Feb 27 2022 - 06:00
My husband has put on so much weight that I'm not attracted to him anymore

My husband has put on so much weight that I'm not attracted to him anymore

Ask Roe: Whether you stay in this relationship or leave, I urge you to stay focused and respectful

Sun Feb 20 2022 - 06:00
‘After years of dating, I still can’t get a second date’

‘After years of dating, I still can’t get a second date’

Ask Roe: It’s a little embarrassing that people do not want to meet me again

Sun Feb 13 2022 - 06:00
‘I keep cheating on my boyfriends and I don’t know why’

‘I keep cheating on my boyfriends and I don’t know why’

Ask Roe: ‘I really love my boyfriend but I have kissed three other guys so far’

Sun Feb 06 2022 - 06:00
My partner prefers Asian and Latinx people. I’m white. Do we have a future?

My partner prefers Asian and Latinx people. I’m white. Do we have a future?

Ask Roe: Your partner’s porn tastes do not inherently mean he isn’t interested in you

Sun Jan 30 2022 - 06:00
I keep obsessing over people who are already in relationships

I keep obsessing over people who are already in relationships

Ask Roe: Your obsession makes sense. You’re scared of a new relationship, scared of the risk

Sun Jan 23 2022 - 06:00
I keep making my wife cry and I don’t know why, or how to help

I keep making my wife cry and I don’t know why, or how to help

It’s been a long two years. Take some time to reconnect, and recommit to supporting each other

Sun Jan 16 2022 - 06:00
My boyfriend loses his erection and I'm worried he's not attracted to me

My boyfriend loses his erection and I'm worried he's not attracted to me

Ask Roe: ‘The body and mind can sometimes respond in ways that don’t match, it’s very common’

Sun Jan 09 2022 - 06:00
‘My friend makes sexual jokes to me when we’re alone and I’m confused’

‘My friend makes sexual jokes to me when we’re alone and I’m confused’

‘It’s a kind of gross-out humour with the guys and it’s almost like dirty talk at this stage’

Sun Jan 02 2022 - 06:00
My girlfriend isn’t verbal during sex – how do we navigate consent?

My girlfriend isn’t verbal during sex – how do we navigate consent?

Dear Roe: Some people need alternate frameworks of consent, and they shouldn’t be left unacknowledged

Sun Dec 19 2021 - 00:00
My boyfriend’s high sex drive has disappeared. I feel it’s my fault

My boyfriend’s high sex drive has disappeared. I feel it’s my fault

Ask Roe: You are in no way obligated to have sex with your partner every time they want

Sun Dec 12 2021 - 00:00
Should I wait for a man who isn’t ready for a relationship?

Should I wait for a man who isn’t ready for a relationship?

‘You seem to have become attached to this emotionally unattainable man quite quickly’

Sun Dec 05 2021 - 00:00
I keep trying to break up with my boyfriend but he won’t let me

I keep trying to break up with my boyfriend but he won’t let me

Ask Roe: ‘Since nothing has gone wrong he doesn’t understand why I’d want to end it’

Sun Nov 28 2021 - 06:00
My best friend sexually propositioned me and I haven’t seen him since

My best friend sexually propositioned me and I haven’t seen him since

Ask Roe: He casually suggested we sleep together; now I feel uncomfortable

Sun Nov 21 2021 - 06:00
‘My husband has no sex drive anymore and I fear I will become resentful’

‘My husband has no sex drive anymore and I fear I will become resentful’

Ask Roe: ‘I have tried every approach, including counselling, but it goes nowhere’

Sun Nov 14 2021 - 06:00
I’m cheating and don’t want to give up either man. What should I do?

I’m cheating and don’t want to give up either man. What should I do?

Ask Roe: ‘I need both of them to function and love both deeply but differently’

Sun Nov 07 2021 - 06:00
‘My partner is a good person but there is little laughter, excitement or enthusiasm’

‘My partner is a good person but there is little laughter, excitement or enthusiasm’

Ask Roe: 'He sucks the joy out of everything for me. What can I do?'

Sat Oct 30 2021 - 06:00
‘My whirlwind romance has left me hurt and heartbroken’

‘My whirlwind romance has left me hurt and heartbroken’

‘I keep thinking what’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he want to be with me?’

Sun Oct 24 2021 - 06:00
How do I start dating after a mental health break?

How do I start dating after a mental health break?

You’re already ahead of the curve in how to make connections that feel healthy, authentic and fulfilling

Sat Oct 23 2021 - 06:00
I caught my daughter having sex with her pregnant sister’s boyfriend

I caught my daughter having sex with her pregnant sister’s boyfriend

I’m in the middle of my two daughters and my husband – who is very upset at the situation

Sat Oct 16 2021 - 06:00
I’m a 20-year-old female virgin, struggling to make that first move

I’m a 20-year-old female virgin, struggling to make that first move

I feel nervous at the prospect of re-entering the dating world with a severe lack of experience

Sat Oct 09 2021 - 00:00
My partner wants to open up our relationship

My partner wants to open up our relationship

Dear Roe: I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for us to start sleeping with other people

Sun Oct 03 2021 - 00:00
Should I tell my ex how much she hurt me?

Should I tell my ex how much she hurt me?

Ask Roe: I was ill and unable to be the person she needed – maybe that’s why she fell out of love

Sat Sept 25 2021 - 06:00
Ask Roe: My ex is making me feel guilty for being on dating apps

Ask Roe: My ex is making me feel guilty for being on dating apps

Both of you need to stop monitoring each other’s social and dating activities

Sat Sept 18 2021 - 06:00
My boyfriend hides his genitals from me and I’m panicking

My boyfriend hides his genitals from me and I’m panicking

Ask Roe: If you can’t accept your boyfriend’s boundaries around his body, you should not be with him

Sun Sept 12 2021 - 06:00
My boyfriend is perfect, but I have a crush on a co-worker

My boyfriend is perfect, but I have a crush on a co-worker

Ask Roe: You can find someone else attractive while loving your boyfriend

Fri Sept 10 2021 - 23:54
I’m suspicious of my new boyfriend’s need for privacy

I’m suspicious of my new boyfriend’s need for privacy

Ask Roe: It is early in your relationship to expect full access to your new man’s complete social circle

Sun Sept 05 2021 - 00:00
‘My partner was raised in a religious family and won’t discuss sex’

‘My partner was raised in a religious family and won’t discuss sex’

Ask Roe: Open communication is a necessary requirement for a healthy sex life and relationship

Sun Aug 22 2021 - 06:00
My husband is cheating again and I don’t know what to do

My husband is cheating again and I don’t know what to do

Ask Roe: I thought the life post-booze was a fresh start, but here we are again

Sun Aug 15 2021 - 06:00
‘My ex-boyfriend died and I’m struggling with my grief’

‘My ex-boyfriend died and I’m struggling with my grief’

Ask Roe: The loss of your ex is not the loss of your future, or your chance for love and romance

Sat Aug 07 2021 - 06:00
My wife is bored in our relationship and I don't know what to do

My wife is bored in our relationship and I don't know what to do

Talking about boredom in relationships can be an invitation to honesty and insight

Sat Jul 31 2021 - 06:00
I’m 30, have never dated anyone and am unsure of my sexuality

I’m 30, have never dated anyone and am unsure of my sexuality

All the advice seems to be for people certain of their sexuality and who want to come out

Sat Jul 24 2021 - 06:00
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