The old man goes, ‘I’m sorry. I just can’t muster any enthusiasm for Christmas this year’
Sorcha and I are getting the decorations in the attic when we find an old video cassette
‘We’re going to buy a sh**load of frozen turkeys - if there’s a shortage I can sell them for €500 each’
This being the humungous Christmas morket in – believe it or not – Belfast
‘Ronan is hanging out with the absolute scum of the earth: my old man and Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara’
Ronan has arrived with a present for Honor, and I’d like to know which gangland criminal it used to belong to
‘Dude, if you insist on coaching Blackrock, you can forget about me being your best man’
Christian, my best friend since we were basically kids, says ‘I never asked you to be my best man,’ which hurts like hell
‘It’s all right for you,’ Honor goes. ‘You can have any woman you want’
I try to dig down into my well of experiences for something to tell her. But I’ve never been dumped in my life
‘I don’t like who my son has become since he started playing rugby. He’s full of himself’
The parents are up in orms at a meeting that Fionn told me to recuse myself from, whatever that means
‘There’s no such thing as academic-sporting balance. Not in schools that are serious about being winners’
I’m there, 'I’ll turn up like Enoch literally Burke and then you’ll have a problem on your hands’
This is my son now – north Dublin’s leading wine snob
‘Tell me what you smeddle,’ he goes. ‘Liquorice – am I right? And blackbeddies?’
‘I’m not going to call you Mister anything,’ I tell the deputy principal, and the boys all stort sniggering
Slippers McRory was in my year back in the day. And to think, everyone predicted great things for him
Honor’s date for the debs is a looker. She clearly takes after her old man in that regord
Sorcha is up to 90, and still hoping Honor will decide to wear her dress from our debs in 1995
Ronan pours the wine and goes, ‘It’s a surprising little number with notes of candyfloss, anchovies and balsawood’
The great and the good - and Ro’s old crew - have turned out for the big opening of Fionnuala’s on the Green
‘You were mugged in Dalkey? Things like that don’t happen there’
Sorcha screams when he sees me with two black eyes, but the last thing I want is for the gords to be called
‘I didn’t do a tap in school and yet life worked out pretty well for me’
There’s, like, 30 kids in front of me on the Castlerock pitch, just waiting for the Rossmeister to fill their heads with knowledge
‘The old man running a restaurant is like asking me to teach physics through Irish’
The old man has bought Shanahan’s on the Green and wants to turn it into a family business
‘Rugby is the best idea we’ve ever come up with as a species,’ I go, channelling Fr Fehily
I tag along as Brian, Johnny and Leo get the tour of Castlerock College from Fionn, but the school isn’t quite how I remember it