‘I’ve never said a word about Bray that wasn’t 100% warranted’
The old man is out on a double-date with Claire’s old dear from Bray of all places, and my inheritance is flashing before my eyes
‘We’re getting rid of the cor. Right focking now’
Joy Felton goes, ‘I hope you’re planning to move that thing?’ in her famous residents association voice
‘What’s this about my old man being on the apps?’
‘He’s on Tinder. I think he might have gone out on one or two dates with Amie with an -ie’s mother as well’
‘Dude, you’re going to have to choose between science and rugby’
Rhys Reddin is my outside-centre and possibly best player and I’m including my own kids in that
‘There’s a Londis in Foxrock? I’d say my old dear is turning in her–’
As Sorcha runs through her Christmas gift returns schedule – which she’s put me in charge of – I’m storting to hyperventilate
‘We’re going to run up the Sugar Loaf carrying rocks. Work through the pain barrier!’
Christian goes ‘What are you doing?’ when he sees us out training on New Year’s Day. He’s obviously forgotten about my world-famous intensity
‘Elf went missing and Sorcha’s old man went loop-the-focking-loop. He actually rang the Gords’
The Elf has been on a world tour; selfies in Paris with the Eiffel Tower, lying on Copacabana Beach in Rio
Christmas or no Christmas, I’m frankly disappointed by Sorcha’s lack of killer instinct
‘Sorcha, you can’t be a bad person, no matter how hord you try’
The old man goes, ‘I’m sorry. I just can’t muster any enthusiasm for Christmas this year’
Sorcha and I are getting the decorations in the attic when we find an old video cassette
‘We’re going to buy a sh**load of frozen turkeys - if there’s a shortage I can sell them for €500 each’
This being the humungous Christmas morket in – believe it or not – Belfast
‘Ronan is hanging out with the absolute scum of the earth: my old man and Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara’
Ronan has arrived with a present for Honor, and I’d like to know which gangland criminal it used to belong to
‘Dude, if you insist on coaching Blackrock, you can forget about me being your best man’
Christian, my best friend since we were basically kids, says ‘I never asked you to be my best man,’ which hurts like hell
‘It’s all right for you,’ Honor goes. ‘You can have any woman you want’
I try to dig down into my well of experiences for something to tell her. But I’ve never been dumped in my life
‘I don’t like who my son has become since he started playing rugby. He’s full of himself’
The parents are up in orms at a meeting that Fionn told me to recuse myself from, whatever that means
‘There’s no such thing as academic-sporting balance. Not in schools that are serious about being winners’
I’m there, 'I’ll turn up like Enoch literally Burke and then you’ll have a problem on your hands’