‘Dude, if you insist on coaching Blackrock, you can forget about me being your best man’
Christian, my best friend since we were basically kids, says ‘I never asked you to be my best man,’ which hurts like hell
‘It’s all right for you,’ Honor goes. ‘You can have any woman you want’
I try to dig down into my well of experiences for something to tell her. But I’ve never been dumped in my life
‘I don’t like who my son has become since he started playing rugby. He’s full of himself’
The parents are up in orms at a meeting that Fionn told me to recuse myself from, whatever that means
‘There’s no such thing as academic-sporting balance. Not in schools that are serious about being winners’
I’m there, 'I’ll turn up like Enoch literally Burke and then you’ll have a problem on your hands’
This is my son now – north Dublin’s leading wine snob
‘Tell me what you smeddle,’ he goes. ‘Liquorice – am I right? And blackbeddies?’
‘I’m not going to call you Mister anything,’ I tell the deputy principal, and the boys all stort sniggering
Slippers McRory was in my year back in the day. And to think, everyone predicted great things for him
Honor’s date for the debs is a looker. She clearly takes after her old man in that regord
Sorcha is up to 90, and still hoping Honor will decide to wear her dress from our debs in 1995
Ronan pours the wine and goes, ‘It’s a surprising little number with notes of candyfloss, anchovies and balsawood’
The great and the good - and Ro’s old crew - have turned out for the big opening of Fionnuala’s on the Green
‘You were mugged in Dalkey? Things like that don’t happen there’
Sorcha screams when he sees me with two black eyes, but the last thing I want is for the gords to be called
‘I didn’t do a tap in school and yet life worked out pretty well for me’
There’s, like, 30 kids in front of me on the Castlerock pitch, just waiting for the Rossmeister to fill their heads with knowledge
‘The old man running a restaurant is like asking me to teach physics through Irish’
The old man has bought Shanahan’s on the Green and wants to turn it into a family business
‘Rugby is the best idea we’ve ever come up with as a species,’ I go, channelling Fr Fehily
I tag along as Brian, Johnny and Leo get the tour of Castlerock College from Fionn, but the school isn’t quite how I remember it
Sorcha goes, ‘The Dalkey Lobster Festival is this weekend. How am I going to show my face?’
Honor has just given Sorcha her biggest shock since she found out her teenage pen pal was actually a death row inmate in Texas
‘I think you should have a conversation with Honor about her drinking,’ Sorcha goes
We’re picking her up from the airport after her Leaving Cert holiday and – yeah, no – she’s mashed all right
‘I got thrun out of Amedica,’ Ronan goes. ‘Me visa was revoked’
‘There must be something we can do,’ I say. ‘Someone we can threaten. Or pay’