Brianna Parkins: I don’t enjoy Christmas as much as I did as a kid
Every time we stop trying to meet invisible Christmas expectations, an elf is taken from Santa’s workshop and shot in front of his family
Brianna Parkins: The Australian ambassador to Ireland came over for dinner recently
Wherever I find myself in life, I should in theory always be able to style it out with grace and self-confidence
Give me a quiet quitter over a loud worker any day - there’s nothing worse
Quiet quitters are unfairly maligned, in a way these are people I can respect. Loud workers on the other hand, they are way worse
Brianna Parkins: I’ve nothing against Irish men. I keep one myself. But I recommend Irish women
My dream is for a middle-aged Irish woman to come to my house and fix my life
Brianna Parkins: We need to end the trend of matching Christmas pyjamas. It’s wrong
I bombard my friends with lengthy WhatsApp sermons on the latest ills befalling humankind. Now it’s your turn. Please be seated
‘You need to pull it down, your whole bottom is on show,’ the woman said. ‘It’s a disgrace’
The transference of shame, particularly in Ireland, seems to flow from woman to woman
The Liberties is the last bastion of real Dublin. We should never let it be gentrified
Neighbourhoods now considered ‘cool’ because they have been washed of their working-class heritage
Good chat? Only when you leave Ireland, you realise it isn’t universal
Dublin is the old friend you fell out with but find yourself forgetting why after a few drinks in each other’s company
If I was hiring people, I would send candidates to the airport
Individualism thrives in airports. Every man is out for himself. Only the strong survive – or the very daft who have no self awareness
If I were an agony aunt, my advice would always be ‘leave them’
My dream in life is to be an agony aunt, but my advice would always be ‘leave them’. No considered empathy from me
Deliver me from the banal evil of ‘hot desking’. I dream of a desk with carpeted walls
They’ve taken our walls, they’ve taken our permanent desks. Where does it end?
There is no winning in the engagement ring Olympics
From ‘very sparkly’ to ‘too tacky’, what do those engagement ring comments really mean?
My grandad’s hobbies are listening to the Dubliners and complaining about still being alive
Grandad would tell me to come home soon because he didn’t ‘have long left’. It worked. I went home to Sydney every year
I’ve promised to give a speech, but am freaking out. You see, I’m a big thick
This was supposed to be the year I would slow down, say no to things
I miss Ireland for many reasons, but one is the lack of pressure to ‘get fit’
Sydney is and has always been a vain city, and the heat for nine months of the year means there is nowhere to hide







