Watching the British royals is like looking at the inhabitants of a zoo of privileged humans It's a unique anthropological sector of society
SO DID you watch the wedding? No need to spell out whose wedding I'm talking about: it's the one that happened a few Fridays ago in Westminster Abbey before 1,900 guests and a global television audience.
I certainly did. I watched the entire spectacle from the early morning arrival of guests in mad hats to the point when the net-curtained doors of the "kissing" balcony at Buckingham Palace swung shut.
I also made it my business to get a copy of Hello! magazine's souvenir wedding edition. That's one that won't be going into the recycle bin.
Nor did I have the slightest problem telling people this. To me, watching the British royals is like looking at the inhabitants of a zoo of privileged humans. These people are not like anyone I know. That makes them, or rather their lifestyle, interesting to me.
As I see it, it's a unique sector of society. You can only be born or marry into it, and exclusive clubs are always annoyingly interesting, even though we like to pretend they are not.
It also interests, or perhaps horrifies, me that despite their priceless art collections and the access they have to any cultural or intellectual outlet they desire, the only time I can recall any member of the royal family discussing ideas or culture is Prince Charles's dogged campaign against modern architecture.
I suspect the royal family interests, horrifies or engages many other Irish people too, often for the simplest of reasons, such as the frocks.
Their fashion choices for public events are often shockingly entertaining, albeit unintentionally so. Never underestimate the power of a gúna to generate interest, particularly if it's a stinker.
Or the hit-and-miss fantastical mini-hats recently favoured by royals, many of them designed by our own Philip Treacy.
The one he designed for Princess Beatrice to wear to the wedding has been lampooned to great effect by Graham Norton, for example (left). Then there's the spectacle associated with such occasions as the opening of Parliament and state dinners: the jewels, the sashes, the frocks (again), the tiaras, the processions, the thrones, the theatre and ceremony of it all. It looks amazing and I watch agog, even though I have no idea what's going on most of the time, in the same way I'm glued to the mysteries of Olympic ice skating every four years.
And there are the very public human dramas: the three-in-one marriage; the divorces; the dead mother; the everlasting queen; the fondness for gin of the other seemingly everlasting queen; hopalong Fergie, one foot permanently in her mouth.
Let's not forget Philip's offensive gaffes when visiting other countries. In 1986 during a state visit to China, for example, he merrily told the British students he met there, "If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed".
I can't be unique in my curiosity about the odd ways of the British royal family. So why is there a percentage of Irish people who don't own up to the fact that they are similarly intrigued by the British royals?
The easy answer is that perhaps it's a fear of being seen to be disloyal, or unpatriotic. My guess is that people are afraid of being laughed at, or ridiculed, or even challenged for displaying an interest.
Perhaps it's also reverse snobbery. There was an element of Irish people loudly protesting about how pointless and ludicrous, for instance, the royal wedding was. I heard them. Yet I know they watched the wedding.
Why make such a big deal about it? It was a giant global colour story, and there were millions of others watching too. More importantly, it delivered hugely on the visuals.
I think that anyone Irish, such as myself, who is interested in the British royals demonstrates it in a very different way from our friends across the water.
I may have a copy of the Hello! wedding issue in my house, but there are no mugs, tea towels, or any kind of branded House of Windsor dodahs. My interest is non-tangible, as I suspect it is for many others, which is why it's probably easier for us to pass unnoticed under unofficial royal watch radar.
Will I go out to stand on the street in Dublin to see the Queen?
Well, I already know what she will be wearing: a monotone coat dress of some kind; a string of pearls; a stout handbag; and a boater-type hat.
If I do go out, it will be primarily to watch the reactions of those in the crowd.
Whether you profess an interest in the British royal family or not, after all the history between our two countries, there can't be many Irish people who are indifferent to seeing how she will be received here.
